There Is a Clean, Religious Version of Fifty Shades of Grey Hitting Theaters at the Same Time

Old Fashioned tells the tale of "a former frat boy and a free-spirited woman" courting each other the old fashioned way

If the notion of bondage, casual, kinky premarital sex and tampon-removal aren't exactly on your list of items you need in a Valentine's Day film, then never fear! A clean, religious alternative is here!

Old Fashioned, a film from the same Christian finance firm that worked on God's Not Dead and Heaven Is for Real, will be released on Valentine's Day, 2015. That also happens to be the release date for the highly anticipated big screen adaption of the worldwide bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. Old Fashioned is already being branded as "the anti-Fifty Shades of Grey" because...well, it's obvious, isn't it?

The film, starring Rik Swartzwelder (who also wrote and directed the film) and Elizabeth Ann Roberts, revolves around a former frat boy and a free-spirited woman who find love together—you guessed it, the old fashioned way. The tagline for Old Fashioned? "Chivalry is making a comeback."

Fifty Shades' tagline? Well, it might as well be "butt plugs are a possibility."

"I wanted to tell a love story that takes the idea of Godly romance seriously," Swartzwelder stated in the press release announcing the premiere date. "A story that, without apology, explores the possibility of a higher standard in relationships; yet, is also fully aware of just how fragile we all are and doesn't seek to heap guilt upon those of us that have made mistakes."

Swartzwelder is already riding the buzz surrounding the two very different films opening up on the same night. His own comparison pretty much sums up this upcoming box office battle.

"One is a modestly budgeted indie flick that seeks to make room for godly romance in contemporary America," he wrote on his blog. "The other is a multi-million dollar studio film based on a best-selling erotic novel that has… other goals in mind."

As long as one of Fifty Shades of Grey's goals include showing us as much of Jamie Dornan's torso as possible, we are on board. Toot toot!

So basically, if you want to see a love story this coming Valentine's Day, you can either go to the very clean and tame end of the spectrum, or you can go to the other end of the spectrum that leads to the red room of pain. Your choice.

Or choose neither. You can do that, too.