Curly Sue Star Alisan Porter Reveals Past Alcohol and Drug Addiction

"Blessings are abundant in this chapter and I'm sitting pretty one day at a time for as long as possible," the actress wrote

By Bruna Nessif Sep 11, 2014 10:16 PMTags
Alisan PorterLarry Busacca/Getty Images for Exploring the Arts

Actress Alisan Porter revealed some shocking information to fans today.

"Hi, I'm Ali, and I'm an alcoholic," the Curly Sue star opened a lengthy blog post on Lil' Mamas. "Yup, bet you didn't see that one coming. Or, because you know that I'm a former child star, you totally did. Anyway, it's the truth. I've been sober since Oct 28th, 2007 and I haven't touched a drink or a drug since."

Porter went on to describe her addiction and recalled the moment she knew it was time to clean up her act. "I was living in NYC when I realized I needed to get sober. I was miserable and overwhelmed with life. I was heartbroken and realizing that what had always worked for me in the past was NOT working at all. Not even a little bit," she wrote.

"I felt trapped, scared, and sad and I was ready to really go for broke or get better. So, I did what every good user does and I prayed to a god I had never believed in...and then called my mom. Days later I was off to treatment, just like that. For the next four years I went to meetings, worked the steps, got a sponsor, found a god of my own understanding, prayed, meditated and basically grew up. Growing pains were inevitable, I felt them often but I continued on the path because unlike my old ways, this way was working."

After becoming sober, Porter's life started coming together. She got married to longtime boyfriend Brian Autenrieth in 2012, and the pair are parents to two little cuties. Regardless, the actress found herself imagining a relapse in the midst of early motherhood.

"Anyway, things got really good, hectic but really good and ya wanna know what started to feel like a good idea? A drink! ‘Cause COME ON! I was young… I was sad… I wasn't really THAT BAD. I'm a mom now! Moms drink wine!"

Courtesy: Jesse Weiner Photography

While toying with the (what would normally seem innocent) idea of indulging in a glass of wine, Porter also shared what would have really happened if she decided to sip on some vino.

I drink wine, and then I want a cigarette, so I go out into the garage and smoke one. Then I decide I should have some more wine because I'm only a LITTLE bit buzzed and I want to be more buzzed. Then I decide I want to get high, but only this once. I mean, I'm already drinking again so, who cares?! So I smoke some pot, then I start calling my friends, getting into fights for no reason, stirring up unnecessary drama because I'm so important. Then I have epiphanies about life and how I can change the world. So I get all DEEP and sh*t. Then I think I'm so smart, THEN I think I'm god. Then I take a Xanax because it's so hard being all of these things. Then I pass out. I don't hear the baby crying until someone has to wake me up. I go puke. I wake up in a daze with the people I love around me shaking their heads. I feel like death and I can't wait to do it all again tomorrow. My kids lose their mother and, worse, I lose them.

She didn't drink the wine.

"Blessings are abundant in this chapter and I'm sitting pretty one day at a time for as long as possible. I'm sure that someday my kids will ask me why I don't drink and my answer will be simple: 'I never want to lose myself and not be able to find you.'"