The 17 Most Scathing Questions the Press Asked NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, Translated

Most of those questions were basically: "How have you not resigned yet?!"

By Jenna Mullins Sep 19, 2014 9:33 PMTags
Roger Goodell, NFLElsa/Getty Images

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell held a press conference on Friday and for the first time broke his silence about the absolute s--t show that has become the NFL in recent months. From Ray Rice to Adrian Peterson to how the NFL has handled these scandals, Goodell had a lot to answer for

Unfortunately, he mostly avoided the tough questions, gave no actual answers on what really happened with the Ray Rice investigation and basically kept referring to the generic, written statement he gave at the beginning of the press conference. And the conference was also cut short, which was an absolute travesty because after everything that's happened, that man should have stayed up there under those lights until every single question was asked.

However, all his dodging and sidestepping did nothing to stop the members of the press from going after Goodell relentlessly and ruthlessly. The press, like everyone else, wanted answers. Here are the 17 most scathing questions ol' Roger got asked, plus our own translation of what we imagine the question means because we all know what the press really wanted to say to him:

1. Question: "If any of these victims had been someone you loved, would you be satisfied with the way the league has handled this crisis?"
Translation: "How do you sleep at night?"

2. Question: "What exactly did Ray Rice tell you what happened in the elevator and how did what you thought in your mind happened in the elevator differ from what you saw in the video?"
Translation: "When Ray Rice admitted to abusing his wife earlier this year, did you honestly need video to understand what that meant?"

3. Question: "Can you give us sort of the trail of how you guys did that [Ray Rice] investigation so that people can know really what you put into it?"
Translation: "How in the hell did you guys screw up this investigation so badly?"

4. Question: "You keep talking about transparency; why not say what [Ray Rice] said?"
Translation: "What are you hiding?"

5. Question: "What's your message to the mother with the two kids who has Peterson jerseys and doesn't know what to tell them?"
Translation: "Are you aware of the truly dreadful example you are setting for young kids?"

6. Question: "How many [corporate sponsors] have suggested that if things do not improve they would pull out?"
Translation: "If the NFL starts losing money, then will you finally resign?"

7. Question: "[In 2012], you said, 'Ignorance is not an excuse.' A lot of people think you are not holding yourself to that same standard. Have you considered resigning at any time throughout this?
Translation: "How have you not been booted yet?"

8. Question: "Why do you feel like you should continue in this role?"
Translation: "Again, why are you still in charge?"

9. Question: "If the 32 owners had a vote today about whether or not you should keep your job, what do you think the results would be?"
Translation: "Seriously. How have you not taken the hint that you should resign?"

10. Question: "Right now, there are a lot of inconsistencies [with suspending players]. How do you plan to handle that and do you have a list to put these guys on?"
Translation: "You guys really have no idea what you're doing, huh?"

11. Question: "Do you regret having Ray and Janay Rice in the same room together when you met with them?"
Translation: "What kind of moron thought that it was a good idea to have the abuser and the victim in the same room during questioning?"

12. Question: "The AP report about the video being sent to your office cites a voicemail where someone confirmed receipt of it. How do you explain that amidst the league's denial that they have the video?"
Translation: "You do realize you sound like you're full of s--t, yes?"

13. Question: "Why do you think the domestic violence crimes such as Ray Rice gave you such a difficult time and weren't treated as harshly as maybe some others were?"
Translation: "Will you be changing your almost non-existent policy for punishing horrible human beings?"

14. Question: "Do you still believe that to the best of your knowledge that no one in the NFL office saw the Ray Rice video before it surfaced on TMZ?"
Translation: "Do you think we're all stupid or something?

15. Question: "Are you reducing your role or your power in these kinds of cases by having that [personal conduct] committee?"
Translation: "Please tell us that you will no longer be in charge of cases like this ever again."

16. Question: "Regardless of what Mr. Rice said on June 16, regardless of what was on that second video tape, on the initial summons it clearly says that Mr. Rice struck Janay Palmer with his hand, rendering her unconscious. Why wasn't it enough then to put this right?"
Translation: "You do realize you are a monster for only giving him a two-day suspension in the first place, right?"

But our absolute favorite part of the press conference was when a TMZ Sports staff member asked Goodell about how they investigated the Ray Rice incident when it first happened and why they didn't do more to get the video that TMZ eventually posted. After a long, rambling answer about not wanting to interfere with law enforcement and restrictions and how hard it is to deal with casinos, TMZ dropped this on him:

17. Question: "We found out [about the video] by one call. You guys have a whole legal department. Can you explain that? We found out by just one phone call."
Translation: "Get the hell out of here with your lame excuses and backtracking, idiot."

So there were lots of great, probing questions from the media for the NFL boss and they got basically zero answers in return. And that is just plain unacceptable. And sadly, not surprising at all considering the source.

For more information on domestic abuse or to get help for yourself or someone you love, visit the website for The National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-7233.

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