Sex. Money. Drugs. Power.
On tonight's thrilling series premiere of The Royals, the first shot we see is the elegant Queen Helena (Elizabeth Hurley) stepping outside of the palace to greet the crowd filled with onlookers and admirers.
It's clear that this queen is the s--t.
Meanwhile, her son Prince Liam (William Moseley) is at a local pub where he meets Ophelia (Merritt Patterson), who just so happens to be the daughter of his family's head of security. Not so sure how Mom is going to feel about her son hooking up with a non-royal...
The next morning, Princess Eleanor (Alexandra Park) is helicoptered back to the palace after yet another night of wild partying. Even if you're hung over, you've got to do it in style.
But before Eleanor even lands, the Queen has already caught wind of her daughter's wild behavior, which is proudly displayed on the cover of the local tabloids.
Sheesh, it's toughg being the Queen and a mother.
But that's the least of the Queen's worries, because when Eleanor shows up, she has even more devastating news: her older brother, Prince Robert, is dead.
Watch the clip below to see the Queen's reaction to the devastating news...
Liam stops by Eleanor's room to comfort her and she feels guilty because she owed Robert a phone call. And now that he's gone, she'll never be able to make it up to him.
But there's another reason she's upset—their annoying cousins, Princess Penelope (Lydia Rose Bewley) and Princess Maribel (Hatty Preston), will be coming to stay with them while the royal family grieves over the loss of their son and brother.
The second the sisters get out of the car to greet their cousins, they immediately remind Eleanor of her latest faux pas. It's going to be a long weekend...
Liam invites Ophelia to join him for tea and she offers some comforting words about his brother. She also mentions how she dealt with her own mother's death the year before.
Then they talk about what happened between them the night before and despite the fact that her father wants to keep things quiet, it's apparent the Queen already knows. Trouble is brewing...
The Queen and King Simon (Vincent Regan) mourn over the casket of their son. As soon as someone else enters the room, she wipes her eyes and tries to get it together.
Her husband reminds her that she has the right to mourn but she disagrees.
At the funeral, Liam asks Ophelia if she would like to join him for dinner. Despite the awkward circumstances (really, Liam? A funeral?!) she says yes, but after she leaves, the Queen comes over and reminds Liam that the entire world will be watching his every move, especially now that he's the future King of England.
Later when the Queen is in the car with her son and daughter, they get into an argument and she slaps Liam across the face. We all know who really runs the show in this palace...
That evening the King and Queen host a small family dinner at the palace, which includes the King's brother, Prince Cyrus (Jake Maskall) and his daughters Princess Penelope and Princess Maribel.
Things are already super awkward, especially when Ophelia shows up and it is revealed that she was invited by the King.
Eleanor clearly has her own way of dealing with boring family dinners...
But then the King shocks the family by announcing that he's considering asking Parliament to abolish the monarchy. Seriously?!
Watch the clip below to see how everyone reacts to the King's shocking announcement.
The Queen is especially not amused by her husband's revelation. We don't think she's going to let this slide so easily, either...
Later, the Queen retires to bed and is shocked to discover one of her husband's attendants is wearing his PJs and pretending to be the King. As it turns out, the King asked him to do it as a favor so that he could go on a walk and be by himself.
But later when the King returns, his wife gives him a piece of her mind and informs him that he needs to start acting like a king. Ouch...
The next day, Ophelia comes home to find the Queen waiting for her, which has never happened before. Scary...
They go for a walk and the Queen tells Ophelia to stop seeing Liam and even makes a light threat towards Ophelia's father's job. But Ophelia shocks the Queen when she says that she isn't afraid of her.
That evening, Eleanor invites Ophelia to join her for a drink on the balcony. As they discuss Liam, Ophelia reveals that it was just a hook-up and she isn't looking for a boyfriend.
Eleanor then shares the story of how Ophelia's father stood up to the Queen after his wife died and calls him a bad-ass. When Ophelia tells Eleanor that she's also a bad-ass, the Princess doesn't exactly view herself in that way.
Eleanor then drags her hot new bodyguard Jasper (Tom Austen) off to party with her in Paris, and one thing leads to another and they end up in bed together. Oh, the perks of working for a princess...
When they wake up in her bed the next morning, Eleanor tells him to get out, but then he turns the tables on her by revealing that he put drugs into her drink the night before and filmed everything on his phone.
As he walks out, Eleanor realizes that she's royally screwed.
Cyrus accompanies the King for an afternoon of hunting and asks his brother if he really wants to abolish the monarchy. The King says he does and wishes that he could do something else, like be a fisherman.
But when he asks Cyrus what he would be if he could choose, his brother promptly replies, "King."
Cyrus aims dangerously close to the King's head to shoot a bird and just misses hitting him by an inch. That's some brotherly love, isn't it?
Ophelia has agreed to join Liam for a coffee date despite the Queen's wishes, and he warns Ophelia that the second they step outside, there's no turning back.
As security escorts them through the crowd, cameras are flashing everywhere and capturing snapshots of the young couple as they make their way to the car.
But someone else is watching them as well.
Nothing gets past the Queen in this palace...