Oh Bachelor, sweet Bachelor, thank you for our new favorite show.
The Bachelor Winter Games is like Bachelor in Paradise but with coats and games and accents and phrases like "cheeky lil' snog." It's ridiculous, it's wonderful, and we're already upset that it's only four episodes.
After a truly incredible opening parade and concert, all the contestants moved into their cute little winter home to get busy making out and preparing for the first Winter Games event, which involved both skiing and shooting.
For the guys, the Canadians and Luke quickly proved they were the ones to beat, and Kevin skiied away with the date card. Swedish Rebecca pretty easily scored the date card for the girls.
The one thing we're not so sure about is how the rose ceremony works on this show.
Chris Harrison explained that every person in the house had to vote for someone they didn't think was there for the right reasons, and didn't deserve to stay in the house. Five people were leaving! It didn't seem fair! Good TV, but not fair!
In the end, it felt like a very sad version of Survivor as they all put those cards in that box, seemingly writing names down just because they had an awkward conversation with someone. We ended up losing Eric (USA), Zoe (China), Laura (UK), Lauren G (USA), and Jamey (USA), and it just felt too soon.
In happier news, we watched Josiah hit it off with New Zealander Ally and Canadian Benoit was kissing Clare in the kitchen while Ashley I. was crying on Ben Higgins' shoulder.
Ashley had quickly set her sights on Canadian Kevin, but he was busy getting to know Bibiana. When he won the date card, he asked Ashley for her advice on what to do, but ended up taking Bibiana on the date while Ashley cried and cried.
Now, Kevin tells us he didn't know about Ashley's tears at the time.
"I had to watch this to believe that she was upset," he tells E! News in the video above. "I had no idea."
Ashley says she set her sights on Kevin because she's been friendzoned by every other guy in the house.
"There was no other chance, and the only guy that I was like, oh I'm going to be into, is Kevin," she says. "And then he went on a date with another girl, and I thought here it is, it is happening all over again within 24 hours. Why the heck did I choose to do this again?"
Meanwhile, Dean Unglert made a much more successful connection within the first couple of days in the house with Lesley Murphy, who was a contestant on Sean Lowe's season of The Bachelor, and for once in Dean's time in this franchise, it sounds like things go well.
After making it pretty far during Rachel Lindsay's season of The Bachelorette, Dean found himself in Paradise, falling for two women and unable to choose between them. He didn't come off of Paradise looking so good, but things got brighter for him in the Winter Games.
"It's going to be fun to be excited to watch a season for the first time in my Bachelor career," he says, and we don't blame him. Aaand we also don't blame Lesley Murphy.
Click play on the video above to hear more about these blossoming couples!
The Bachelor Winter Games airs its next episode Thursday at 8 p.m. on ABC.