Allure

Soup Blog sources have learned that Lenny Blukslin, 22, was “totally bummed” when his joke about supermodel Cindy Crawford was called into question. During a recent oil change at Kwuikie Lube, the Detroit native was forced to read the only magazine left, Allure.

“I was like, I gotta look at this for 25 minutes?” stated Blukslin. "Then I saw the pictures of Cindy, and I was all, take your time with the 30 weight, bro."

The image of Crawford posing with a loaf of bread prompted Blukslin to hail Kwuikie Lube employee Stan Yashamito. “He grabbed me and said, ‘look dude, Cindy’s pinching a loaf!’ and he laughed hysterically,” recalled Yashamito, who pointed out the fact that she was actually ripping the loaf. “I told him you can rip a fart, but not a loaf. So the joke sucked.”

A visibly disappointed Blukslin reportedly spent the remainder of his time watching ESPN on a small television and ultimately declined a new air filter before driving home.