The Awful Truth

Is Brad Pitt giving up his film career for something smaller? What—or who—is keeping Gerard Butler up at night? And what the hell is really going on with Sophia Bush and Austin Nichols? Didn't they learn from David Letterman that you shouldn't date where ya work?

Find out in this week's Truth, Lies & Ted!

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Awww, look at the cute family! The Jolie-Pitts!

AP Photo/Ron Edmonds

Dear Ted:
I couldn't agree with you more about President Obama. And while we're at it, could you please explain to me how the president of a country that is currently at war and is still torturing prisoners could possibly receive the Nobel Peace Prize?
—Amanda F., NYC

Dear I Wish:
If I were able to explain that to you then I'd probably agree with it! Motivational, perhaps? Never thought I'd agree with the right-winged side of things, but it does seem to be more about his star power, less his benevolent soul.

Dear Ted:
How can you say Kate Gosselin is the lesser of two evils? Have you not watched the show and how much Jon was home being a stay at home dad while Kate was off trying to be famous? Then when she was home, degrading him every minute? It's just that she has TLC telling her how to behave now to make her look good in the public eye while Jon is being a normal human in a sad situation. She is so scripted. Even the little boo hoos. She doesn't do it all for her kids. She's in it for herself. Give Jon some slack.
—Vmko

Dear Hailey Glassman:
Yeah, I definitely have seen how she degrades him, but at the end of the day, who is taking care of the kids while they, too, are going through a hard time? Okay, the nannies, but Kate seems to be there for them a helluva lot more now than he does. Reverse the situation: Kate was the bread earner, of course she was gone. If the stay-at-home sitch was flipped from the beginning we wouldn't be having this debate, would we?

Dear Ted:
Love all that you do for animal shelters! Keep it up. I have a question about Jake Gyllenhaal. We know that he is a Blind Vice, but what I can't put my finger on is whether or not you like/respect him. What are your personal feelings about him? Good guy or do his hidden Vices make you dislike him?
—Jmp

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JEWEL SAMAD/AFP/Getty Images

President Obama's expected to sign a hate-crime bill for gays, which might come off as progressive to you, but all I can see is a hypocrite in action. He'll protect gays from being bashed, but he still won't let us marry each other? (Not that I'd be interested in that institution ever again, but you get the idea.)

That's like saying the peasant second-class citizens must never be hit by their masters who get better everything. We don't wanna be treated like victims who need to be protected—we wanna be treated like everyone else. It's the same story time and again.

'Course, Obama's not really thinking of all the unlucky gay Americans today when he's got his new Nobel Peace Prize to smile about. He's only the third American prez in history to get a Nobel Peace Prize while still in office, and the last former White House regular to get it was Al Gore in 2007, after working on behalf of spreading education and fixing global warming for years and years and years.

Obama's claim to fame, that is, besides being the first black man elected president? Let's be honest—he hasn't really done a great deal yet, though he sure likes talking about what he's gonna do. We can't friggin' wait till he does it, already. How long do you plan to make us wait, Mr. President?

Mark Wilson/Getty Images, Joe Kohen/Getty Images

"I think she respects him a great deal, but do they get along? That's a stretch."

—Inside White House source, regarding recent reports that Hillary Clinton may be chafing under President Barack Obama's sometimes distant rule (with her) and that Clinton was considering resigning, a report Clinton's office has adamantly denied

Mark Wilson/Getty Images, Joe Kohen/Getty Images

"They leave each other entirely alone—it's not like a typical president/secretary of state relationship at all."

—Top Washington insider, regarding the dynamics between former candidates and now working colleagues, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. True, Clinton has more foreign-affairs experience (officially, and otherwise), but is this interindependence really such a good idea?

Allstar/Globe Photos/ZUMAPress.com, Charley Gallay/Getty Images, Sharkpix/ZUMAPress.com

Dear Ted:
I've been enjoying your column for the past two months, and it's a must-do every morning at work here in Toronto. Regarding Hugh Jackman running for a second term as Sexiest Man Alive, I have nothing against it. He's a nice, hot daddy. But if you'll allow me to propose another name for that title, how about Eric Bana—same age as Hugh and also a delicious Australian DILF. Robert Pattinson is still too new and young to be named the sexiest. Keep up the good work and also defending the rights of gay couples to marry in Calif.
—My Aussie Bums

Dear Bana Rama:
Great suggestion. I'm not sure how I feel about you writing off Rob so quick, but Aussie specimens are always welcome in the Sexiest Man arena.

Dear Ted:
Regarding your latest post about how Megan Fox has the hots for Rob Pattinson. When you said a rough road this summer, you didn't say you would be the one giving it to us. I remember not too long ago you said Rob would be scared to death of her. I believe you have already given us the truth on Robsten, and everything is good. It's why I became a fan of yours, but you are a little devil. A cute little devil. How do you get by with it and have us still love you?
—Me

Dear Tough Love:
Better it comes from me first than someone who would be much more vicious an damning of our man Rob.

Dear Ted:
I am addicted to the whole Toothy Tile drama! I think I know who it is, but the Baby Tile part throws me. Does the public know that Toothy has a child? Also, I love the Robsten deets...keep 'em coming!
—Jlbachmann

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AP Photo/Denis Poroy, AP Photo/Charles Dharapak

Now that former Miss Cali Carrie Prejean can finally fade back into obscurity, where should we transfer all our anger in the gay-marriage debate? How about our friggin' president, who's (predictably) going back on his campaign promises to legalize same-sex unions.

"Obama wants to be like FDR and do this slowly over a period of time," explains our Dee-Cee source thisclose to the prez, specifically speaking of legalized gay marriage. Guess that first baby step is giving same-sex rights to federal employees. But why wait even longer for the real deal when we've been waiting long enough? Don't placate us by saying you're in favor of it and then barely moving an inch.

At least Carrie Prejean was honest (to an annoying fault) about her dislike of gay marriage. The blond beauty queen yakked her resolute opinion on opposite marriage on any damn show that would have her. We have no doubt where she stands. Should we respect someone like that more than, say, our own president, who doesn't decide one way or the other? Should you?

AP Photo/Ron Edmonds

Obama's continuing his snail-like pace of acknowledging gay rights—or gay people at all—not only by supporting the hateful Defense of Marriage Act, but also stalling on following through with the campaign promise to abolish the equally reprehensible "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Oh, but now he's giving same-sex rights to federal employees. To only federal employees and their partners, that is. Talk about nepotism! What if I just gave celeb scoops on Robsten and Britney only to others in the goss biz? Doesn't seem fair, does it?

So if you work for the U.S. government, your marriage matters more? Maybe it's my big fat ego speaking (it clearly is), but I consider gossip reporting just as important an occupation as whatever they're off doing in the White House. Oh no? We give new info and entertainment every damn day here on the A.T., whereas the Obama administration is barely trickling out all that change they promised back in November. This is the best he can do? What the hell else are you doing in there, playing basketball and fetch with Bo?

Or should we be overjoyed that at least some gay couples are getting benefits while others are still being denied? We're more pissed there are homos working right inside D.C.'s HQ who aren't demanding more. I surely am, and I'll continue to do so.

Mike Ansell/NBC

"It is tough times. I know Vegas and other places are struggling trying to get the patrons in. We'll get through it; Obama's in office!"

—Says supreme poker player Mekhi Phifer, when we asked if everyone affected by the crap economy should be hitting the slots and such for some good luck. Or should we just count on our White House wizard, whose s'posed to solve all our problems with a wave of his presidential wand? Get to it, Barack!

Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

It's only a matter of time until Prez Obama's precious, way overused BlackBerry is hacked, right? Then we can bitch-text him as much as we please.

If you could text Obama right now on his BlackbBerry, what would you say?

"I'd say, Keep funding the arts. And health care. Those are my two things. I hope they keep giving money to the arts, because the arts are really struggling right now." 
—Arty actress Illeana Douglas, keepin' her text sans the LOL's

"I'd say, 'Hey, number one, wassap?' Then a Secret Service guy would write back, 'Who are you, what's your address, what do you want?' " 
—Breaking Bad's Emmy-winning Brian Cranston, way suspicious of the prez's privacy

"Where's my phone call, goddamnit?!"
—The Wrestler director and Rachel Weisz' hub-unit, Darren Aronofsky, on the slew of awards his Mickey Rourke comeback vehicle has won. Dar wants that congratulatory call already, Barack!

ABC/Donna Svennevik; Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images for VH1

Backstage at the Oscars, I apparently started something when I asked Milk's Best Original Screenplay winner, Dustin Lance Black, if he felt President Obama should reverse his stand against gay marriage.

"Absolutely," Black (who was raised a Mormon, interestingly enough) exclaimed to me.

A reporter later also asked Sean Penn my same query about the president's unfortunate stand on gay unions. Penn, brow-wrinkled, replied that he hoped Obama's anti-gay-marriage stance was a "political" one, and not one from the heart, and that he, too, felt the 44th prez should reconsider his intolerant position.

This was such a personality change for Penn!

Last time he was backstage with his Oscar (for Mystic River), Robin's naughty hubby was chewing ice from his cocktail tumbler the whole time, ranting away! Not so 2009: Penn, circumspect, meant business with his serious words to the president. Besides, he got smart this time: He had his publicist hold his cocktail glass for him offstage, out of camera range.

Jeff Vespa / Getty Images

Josh Lucas, who flies under the radar with his hotness, looking handsome in a dark suit over at the Eracism Purple Ball at the Fairmont. Ashley Judd was her charming self there also, but was looking "a bit under the weather," blabs or D.C. disher, noting that Ash's gray gown was all but flattering for her figure. Add another one to possible preggers watch with...

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