clip of the day (47 posts)

The Iengs have so much going for them. They're newly married, happy and even have sex on occasion. And they sure get a kick out of talking dirty…gee, imagine if he'd said trouser snake?

If you think being a top model is all about glamor, try wearing a fright wig out in the woods while pretending to be an egg-hatching "birdie/owl/terradactyl." Oh, that Tyra!

Gee, Hannity, did we miss the news about an amendment to the Geneva Convention banning the use of stunning babes in getting POW's to squeal? 

In his typically dispassionate manner, Bruno Tonioli responds to Team Tango, likening the spunky, talented bunch to "a pack of voracious raptors." 

Which is a lot better than whore pit vipers.

We can always rely on Fox and Friends to rev up our mornings. As their perfectly klunky slogan reminds us, "We all hate to wake up, so watch Fox and Friends and they'll tell you what's up." Which in this case happens to be a NASCAR driver who "crashes and burns." C'mon, sleepyheads! It's a brand new Foxy day.

One housewife's canape is another's Alpo.  Gobble down, Jill. 

What comes out of Tyra's mouth is usually a lot more interesting than what goes into it, but here we have an exception. In order to provide a clue as to what foriegn land the future models will be visiting, the Top Model mistress masticates what appears to be a "big ass peanut."

But then that would mean they're going to Georgia. Spoiler alert: Tyra's skills at nut identification are, surprisingly, way off.

There are many things one can learn in college, and topping the list is exactly how much alcohol it takes to wind up head down in a communal toilet, vomiting up everything one has eaten since they were in sixth grade.

Oh sure, there's the rampant dorm sex, plus heavy decisions about which flavor of condom to use, but, as the aptly named show College Life teaches us, it's pretty much about the boozing. 

It doesn't get much Realer or Road Rulier than a heaping dose of high-octane machismo, which the new season of the MTV spectacle serves up but good. And when you can get cannibalism in there too, well, that's entertainment.

Those loveable, unpredictable toddlers are at it again, and, in an effort to bring out their barely formed personalities (you know, the ones their parents are mutating with every episode), the little ladies are allowed to pick their own outfits.

And every toddler's idea of a perfect outfit is a 19th century southern belle's ball gown. Remember, these youngsters are the Celebrity Rehab fodder of our future. 

One thing's certain about shrewish American princess Taylor Royce; she puts the "tough" into Tough Love. Of course, if they had a show called Easy to Dislike, she'd be a shoe-in. Here we encounter the self-confessed "daddy's little girl," (odd, as her father left when she was two) braying about her favorite topic: Herself. 

Welcome to the world of Pretty Wicked, where sexy young ladies with massive character flaws attempt to make what's inside as attractive as what's outside. Their incentive? Money, which is the foundation of inner purity.

Here we meet Vanessa, who excells at sleeping, shopping and apparently something too wicked to say on the Oxygen network. Gosh, what can it be...