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While we're still patiently waiting for Nicole Kidman's Tom Cruise tell-all, another celeb's ex is dishing on their totally tumultuous relationship:

Mary Forsberg Weiland, the ex of rocker Scott Weiland, wrote a memoir, Fall to Pieces, co-written by Larkin Warren. Mary shares some horrifying stories regarding her bipolar disorder, her addiction to drugs and her chaotic and violent relationship with the Stone Temple Pilots rocker.

During their rocky, drug-fueled marriage, the pair was practically known for getting into public fights—not only was Scott charged with domestic violence against Mary in 2001, the two of them completely trashed a Burbank hotel room (ripped out phones, bashed walls, and bloody sheets included) during one of their nastier brawls in 2007. 

First good thing: Mary never hooked up with Russell Crowe, can you imagine? Second good thing Mary's in a much better place to talk about this traumatic stuff, but we know what other notorious late night partier should be next to write a similar book...

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Let's see, how can I put this without sending E!'s legal team into uncontrolable fits of Burberry-skirted fury? Hmmm...In light of the ongoing investigation into Michael Jackson's death (honestly, he's had more press in the last month than he'd had in the last 10 years), I think it's time to switch burners and start cooking up somebody other than Dr. Conrad Murray. In other words, let's put Jackson's longtime (ego) pusher, Dr. Arnold Klein, in that legal frying pan for a nice, slow burn, shall we?

Given the pathetic state of M.J.'s body after double autopsies, it's hard to tell what's even left of his remains anymore. But I talked to some physicians, and in each of their professional opinions, they told me the brunt of the damage done to Michael's person could not possibly have been caused by Murray alone during the time he spent with the King of Pop (less than three years). Well, we knew that already, right?

So why has Klein, who tended Jackson through at least a few different noses, receiving arguably less legal scrutiny than Murray? And since cops are investigating him, it looks like maybe Murray will be made to legally answer for exactly what he did to Jackson for all those years, chemically speaking. The point is that drug addiction to the extent Michael Jackson suffered is a long-established dynamic. It began way before Murray, so he shouldn't alone be made to pay the price for what he did—or did not do—to Jackson.

I can't make any accusations because the people I've spoken with who worked in Klein's office won't go on the record. But hopefully, someone will—and soon. Why should two men be killed over this whole sorry affair when definitely at least three are majorly involved?

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Per usual, celeb drug abusers are getting hand-slaps right and left while unlucky Cameron Douglas is apparently going to have to pay the price for everybody else. Just because he pushed dope instead of snorted it in every bathroom stall around Hollywood, like most everybody else does.

Latest idiotic development being that Douglas's girlfriend Kelly Sott, according to police documents, tried to smuggle an electric toothbrush crammed with heroin into the Upper East Side apartment in which Douglas is currently under house arrest. Is this really any more stupid than what half the starlets do quite openly in the women's restrooms of myriad public clubs? Hardly.

Despite the sheer ridiculousness of the whole Douglas situation, which we definitely don't condone, we can't help but wonder why the blame has to fall entirely on Douglas, who faces possible life in prison. Shouldn't his buyers be the ones to pay, too?

Celebrity starlets like Morgan Mayhem, Fake a la Ferocity, and Emma Uh-Oh are spotted doing blow en masse at Hollywood hangs and events constantly, yet how can justice possibly be defended when they get off without so much as a warning? But, when there is some kind of judicial chastising, it's hilariously inept: the most offensive may be Redmond O'Neal, son of Ryan O'Neal and the late Farrah Fawcett, who has been given billions of chances to go to rehab and yet didn't take any of them before he got his ass thrown in jail for possession in April. Where the hell is his potential life sentence?

This is just completely out of whack. Cameron Douglas is just the Martha Stewart of the celeb drug set, he's the sacrificial dime-bag lamb and an ineffective one at that. Not going to do a goddamn thing to curtail drug use in Hollywood. Now, you throw Lindsay or Mischa in jail, that's sending a chilling shout-out to substance-addled T-Town. But, some Oscar-winning legend's pathetic son?

Nobody buying or using illegal pills and junk in this town is going to blink. Guarantee it.

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Michael Jackson's dermatologist, Dr. Arnie Klein, opened up on Larry King, doing a horrible job of claiming innocence. "I told him specifically the dangers of Diprivan," said Klein. "I told him this drug was very dangerous. He assured me he stopped." The doc admitted that he used sedatives on Jackson, but never prescribed him anything stronger than Demerol.

So he's saying Diprivan is dangerous, but Demerol's not? Klein's talking about Demerol like it's friggin' aspirin or something. We spoke to Dr. Daniel Landau, M.D., who definitely begs to differ: "I have never used Demerol because of how addictive it is," says Landau.

"You get a high off of it," he continues, saying Demerol highs last longer than morphine, about seven or eight hours. "I'd be stunned if you found a doctor who would give you Demerol still."

Dr. Klein, turns out, is one such doctor. Read on for more shocking info from Landau...

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Sadly, we've uncovered even more tragic inside information about how Michael Jackson's drug use may have heavily contributed to his passing.

A reliable and close Jackson medical source tells us that M.J. would visit his myriad doctors for tiny (mostly minor superficial) procedures—not even overnight observance kind of stuff—on a regular basis. Very much like a hypochondriac, tho we doubt Michael was just making up ailments out of thin air.

But Jackson wasn't treated like other patients. He was way, way overtreated, and then some, on some serious stuff:

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Colleagues employed by and close to Michael Jackson tell me exclusively that he "got whatever he wanted" in terms of medical requests, material indulgences and otherwise. "Nobody said no to him," relayed one of Jackson's closet advisors for many years. "You just didn't dare. He didn't want to hear it."

This, despite the fact that some of those hefty pharmaceutical requests just very well may have played a major factor in the musical genius's demise.

Did no one ever warn Jackson about the perils of too many chemicals in his body? Well...

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Emma Uh-Oh was such the hot, writhing babe for a while not all that long ago really. All supersexy, superskinny, superglossy gal power, mainly on the small screen, Ms. U-O was indeed a major player on some of the boob tube's hottest shows (and she had the hot curves to match). We could totally see her making all the straight menfolk drool on red carpets had she not taken herself off them.

How? The worst way, folks—she wasn't lazy or unmotivated. She was on...

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Princess Powder-Puff has had quite the rocky existence for the past couple of years. Besides being a sizeable tabloid target, Princess P. has had some career setbacks, too. Maybe that's because everyone around Pee uses her for something. And whatever goodies those fake pals are gaining, it's never in PPP's best interest, for sure.

See, Puff hardly has any real buds. Sad, but very true.

Now, don't feel too bad for the babe, 'cause with her money she could easily be getting help if she wanted it. Instead, Triple-Pee resorts to seeking a different kinda aid from those around her.

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While Michael Phelps is getting crucified—both morally and professionally—for smoking some pot, the country's busy heaping awards and posh praise on myriad strains of violence which are far more hurtful than any message Phelps might or might have not sent to young kids.

(These are children, by the by, who are most likely pooh-poohing Phelps' totally gay pot-smoking, as I'm sure they're far more interested in something Lindsay Lohan might have in her purse, ya know.)

Whether it's misogynistic rap lyrics that make billions, or Angelina Jolie killing off any human thing faster than she adopts them in Wanted, or Mickey Rourke getting rave reviews for playing a dude who gets stapled for a living, the US of A mindset has it ass-backward, per usual.

With all that truly brain-frying crap, Phelps' crime is taking a toke? No wonder folks laugh at Americans for being puritanical priss-wipes out of touch with the real world. Because with this kind of blinders-on damnation, we are.