jeremy piven (32 posts)
Morning Piss: Jon and Other Dirty-Dog Dudes
While our hearts are still breaking over poor Jessica Simpson's coyote-swiped Daisy, we've got even more pooches to pray for. Jon Gosselin is blaming Kate (who else?) for having to get rid of his dogs.
The d-bag's sending the family's two German Shepherds, Shoka and Nala, back to the breeder because he claims his soon-to-be ex-wifey doesn't want them around in their Pennsylvania home when Jon isn't around. He tells E! News, "It's not fair to the dogs to not be wanted in their own home," he said.
Is he talking about the German Shepherds, or himself?
Afternoon Piss: Piven Digs Himself Even Deeper
Is Jeremy Piven trying to single-handedly wipe out the New York theater scene?
The Piv's attack lawyers have sent a cease-and-desist letter to the producers of The Piven Monologues, a staged reading following the off-stage drama that was Sushigate, insisting that they "can't make defamatory statements about our client."
Hey, Piv, it's only a half-hour staged reading in a friggin' pub. And the dialogue is mostly just repeating actual quotes from the Mercury poisoning madness (like David Mamet's priceless line about Piven becoming a "thermometer"). All of which are friggin' facts—and ones you instigated, darling.
Go beat down Mamet's door if you don't like what he said about you! You should just be happy the court found ya innocent of backing out of your Speed the Plow contract, since we definitely heard quite the opposite from our own theatre-centric sources.
For a comedy actor, Piven really needs to get a sense of levity, not to mention humor, stat. Shouldn't Jer be thrilled people even give an ef about him? Not only should JP let the show go on, he should go onstage and play himself, for heaven's sake. Own your mess, babe.
It would sure win ya back the New York crowd, and you certainly need some more fans on your side if The Goods lackluster box-office and your lack of an Emmy nod this year is any indication.
Emmys Snub = Totally Your Own Fault!
We're totally disappointed our naughtier, TV version of Twilight, True Blood, didn't get one damn friggin' single Emmy nom, not even any of the delicious actors involved. Doesn't the Academy drool over fangs and abs like we do?
Apparently not.
But even more absent from the Emmy noms list than Paqmo was the grab bag of attention-whore celebs you see in the rags and especially in this here blolumn.
Think that's a coincidence?
Caught! Buckley Chugs, Piven Third-Wheels
Robert Buckley drove up coast to hit up the James Perse Malibu store opening over the weekend. You all are aware there is another hot Robert out there besides Pattinson, right? R.B. flew solo to the "chic keg party" (who knew there was such a thing) and was overheard going crazy for the custom James Perse beer bong in the swag bags. Totally sweet dude!
Other guests at the BBQ included…
Blab Blab Blab: Jeremy Piven, Douche Bag Supreme
"Oh I cant. I've taken too many. I have to hold off."
—Jeremy Piven, at the Maxim bash this week, sending an adoring fan who'd asked for a pic off on her dejected way. Oh yeah, Piven, you're a regular, put-upon Rob Pattinson aren't you. Even Rob's better with his peeps than you are
Morning Piss: Piven’s Colleagues Hate Him
Hey, I’m not pissed this morning (for a change), but some of Jeremy Piven’s old colleagues sure are!
But first, it really is the court date not to miss (next to Britney Spears’s latest whatever) when mercury-poisoned midget man Piven goes up against his former Broadway employers for pulling out of the production. When we originally broke that Pivster perhaps left the David Mamet production of Speed-the-Plow for reasons that may have sounded fishy but had nothing to do with fish, his colleagues complained in unison about what an “arrogant diva” he was. And now that Piven’s court appointment is in the news, so too are some of his other colleagues’ past opinions of the diminutive Entourage star: “His ego is way out of proportion, bordering on the unkind,” bitched a Tony-award winning thespian who worked with J.P. recently. “He’s a real pig.”
And when another star who just finished a gig with Piven learned I had some juice on Jeremy a few weeks back, he said: “Glad to know you are getting some ink out of that pig. I did two small projects with him and really loathed him both times.” Pig? Again? What are you, a total swine, Piven?
Uh, Jermey, WTF? You’re not that cute (or talented). Even Russell Crowe gets better press than this.