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Can Michael Lohan Go to Jail for Phone Call Leaks?
Suffolk County Police
How can Michael Lohan keep leaking taped phone calls and not to go jail?
—Brandee, via the Answer B!tch inbox
Oh, he could go to jail, all right.
Michael Lohan—who has the dubious honor of both media whore and child-star pimp—has reportedly leaked telephone conversations he had with daughter Lindsay Lohan, ex-wife Dina and frenemy Jon Gosselin. Dina has reacted by calling Michael out as the scum he is, as has Lindsay, who prefers the term "loser."
And she's even asked her lawyer to look into all legal options, including criminal ones that could possibly land Michael in the slammer.
Here are the details...
Why Can't Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin Shut Up?
INFdaily.com
Why can't Michael Lohan or Jon Gosselin shut up? Is it a disease?
—Lova, via the Answer B!tch inbox
I wish it were, just so I could claim credit for the discovery and make up an awesome name for it, like egobelioma or delusia bifida.
But no. In fact, the reason why Michael Lohan won't stop talking about his daughter—or leaking supposedly private calls about her—and the reason why Jon Gosselin still thinks anyone cares about what he has to say, is a lot more chilling than a mere head disorder...
Can Balloon Boy's Family Still Get a Reality Show?
ABC; Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMApress
How could Balloon Family get a reality show if the parents get convicted of felonies? Isn't it illegal to profit off of a crime?
—J., via the Answer B!tch inbox
It can be, yes, but from what I hear, even a conviction probably wouldn't stop these people from leaving tire tracks on their own kids in the pursuit of fame. And if there are network execs interested in the Heenes—now infamous for that apparently fake balloon drama—there could still be a reality show.
That is, if network executives aren't already too busy grooming their scales or filing their teeth into sharp points.
So how could Richard Heene and his scrappy pack of down-home weather chasers pull that off? Well, all you need to do is look to another celebrity criminal case for guidance...
Can We Blame Gosselin Mania on the Recession?
INFphoto.com
What's with the obsession over people who aren't stars, like Kate Gosselin? Is it a recession thing?
—Kaybe, via the Answer B!tch inbox
The fixation on Kate Gosselin's bank balance could be some sort of symptom of hobo times, especially when combined with breathless accounts of—Miley Cyrus! Leaving Twitter! Like, forevvvvvs! And now look—up in the sky, but not really—it's Balloon Boy!
Meanwhile, coverage of more traditionally glamorous stars like Brad Pitt or Beyoncé actually seems to be dwindling.
But does our taste in gossip really reflect our jobless rate? Well, consider this...
Six Easy Ways to Make Jon Gosselin Go Away
INFphoto.com
When will Jon Gosselin be old news? I'm so tired of him.
—Vp, via Twitter
Now, now. No need to step on Jon Gosselin, alone like he is. He has only 14 or 15 twentysomething girls hanging on him at any given moment, and most of them can't possibly understand the exhaustion that comes with issuing all those salvos against his soon-to-be ex.
Assuming it's really what you want, there are about six things Gosselin could do to get us gossips to stop writing about him:
What Is Jon Gosselin Really Up To?
Amber Matsumoto/LA Dodgers
Why is Jon Gosselin acting like such a jerk, shutting down his own show and saying such horrible things about the mother of his children?
—PDen, Ocala, FL, via the Answer B!tch inbox
Well, let's put it this way. What's the one thing Jon Gosselin really needs right now? I mean, besides a shirt that doesn't come from Ed Hardy? I mean, besides a shirt that doesn't come from Ed Hardy and a treadmill?
Here's a hint. It ain't just about money, folks...
Is Lindsay Now More of a Paris—or a Jon?
Albert Michael/startraksphoto.com
Exactly how bad is Lindsay Lohan's career? Would she be considered on the same level as a Dancing With the Stars candidate or some other reality show star?
—GP, via the Answer B!tch inbox
There is an actual method for ranking Lohan among others of her race, such as Jon Gosselin, Bethenny Frankel, Mischa Barton, the Olsen twins and the like. And if you think I might be insulting Jon Gosselin, here's the scoop from people who would know...
Does Anyone Want to Hire Jon Gosselin?
INFphoto.com
Why was Jon Gosselin selling lemonade? Is he that desperate for sympathy—or cash?
—Shennellc, via the Answer B!tch inbox
Actually, Gosselin and his kids were selling lemonade for charity, at a local Pennsylvania fire department. Photogs and reporters caught him out there a few days ago while he was filming a new episode of his reality show.
The firefighters might be the only fans Gosselin has left, though, if what everybody is telling me is any indication...
Are Stars Required to Behave a Certain Way?
BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM
I read that Jon Gosselin's antics are in violation of a morals clause. Is that a TLC network thing? Do studios still use them in contracts?
—Marignygirl, via Twitter
I reached out to the attorneys for TLC, and they didn't want to go there, but the short answer to your question is, in general, yes.
Most stars—TV celebrities, famous endorsers, even just your average movie actor—have probably had to sign some piece of paper regulating his or her behavior at one point or another. You'd think that studios would have done away with such restrictions sometime around the Normandy invasion, but no.
What kind of star get stuck with the harshest, most wide-ranging list of no-nos? Is it the Jon Gosselin types? Well ...
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