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Merry Christmas Eve, folks! Behold, Round 2 of our Ho Ho Ho Awards. Team Awful needs your help in recognizing those celebs most definitely on Santa's naughty list today.

Blondes sure do have more fun, but these two particular flaxen-haired honeys went overboard with their manhunting in 2009, especially when both were caught slinking around the same baseball diamond:

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Stephan Lovekin/Getty Images, James Devaney/Getty Images, Fame Pictures

There's a rather sexy (though often reviled) gal who's currently toying with her latest partner, perhaps in a dubious way.

Her friends are telling us not only does this ultracelebrated babe know exactly what she's doing with her most recent bedmate, but the nooky pro is qualified to start a damn website for how best to use men and women like they're the latest Prada bags, or something.

So which vet stud-eater is it? Think you're so smart, eh?

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BAUER-GRIFFIN.COM

Madonna passing off her musical-fever to boyfriend and love of her life Jesus Luz.

Madge made a cameo in Bahia, Brazil last week, most likely on her way to London before she books it to Malawi to break ground on her school for girls.

The Queen certainly gets around.

We hear Jesus likes to DJ at a club called Jet Set down there, and pops in every now and then showcasing his acquired musical skills. M apparently popped in to surprise him and get a little boyfriend action before heading across the pond.

Geez, looks like these two are for keeps! Another successful Hollywood couple spotted in NYC was...

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Fame Pictures

Dear Ted:
Why aren't more people upset with Madonna purchasing a man-whore in front of our faces? I bet he's worth every penny.
—curiousgman

Dear Sugar Momma:
They're not mad because they're envious. M's the only 51-year old woman who could nab a young hottie like Jesus without opening her wallet ('tho she prolly does anyway).

Dear Ted:
It's plainly obvious everything has gone downhill for Jennifer Aniston after her marriage to Brad Pitt. But I can't understand why the hell she would be desperate enough to date John I-am-so-friggin-awesome Mayer?! Also, her wanting to have kids with him is so creepy. Which sane person would want their kid to look up to such a waste of skin?
—Cutecurls

Dear Father Figure:
At least Jen and John's hypothetical kids would have nice hair and have an ear for music? That's more than most have wired into their DNA. Plus, Aunt Courteney Cox is just around the corner to keep her eye on Baby AniMayer.

Dear Ted:
Methinks it is time to let Morgan Mayhem out of the bag. Things are looking mighty grim, chick looks almost twenty years older. It would be the Christian thing to do. Low blow, I know but the whole thing is so sad in a Janis Joplin sprinkled with River Phoenix watched over John Belushi kind of way. Tough love, man, tough love!
—pricanese

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Madonna is definitely back in the groove of being a New Yorker, and was spotted catching some live theatre—other than her love life, that is.

Madge got dolled up to see Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig in A Steady Rain at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre.

The lights were turned down just before the show and when M finally slunk to her seat, trying to avoid everyone looking at her instead of the two hunks onstage. Maybe it was her cell phone ringing that infuriated Jackman so much? That'd be too perfect, let's just assume it was!

And how are Hugh and Dan doin' in the show?

One theatergoer tells us the talent wasn't all on the same level...

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The Net has been abuzz for a bit that Madonna will make an appearance at the Video Music Awards in New York next weekend. Even though the queen's rep shot down that possibility to Marc Malkin last week, we hear MTV isn't ready to give up. So how might they entice Madge to hop onboard the very hyped show this year? By dangling the M.J. card, obviously.

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Courtesy: Dolce&Gabbana

Call us crazy, or totally perverted, but this picture of Madonna and boy-toy Jesus Luz makes the rumor-turned-reality duo actually look like a natural couple.

Here are Madge and Jesus posing with designer God's Dolce & Gabana, who threw the Queen an after-concert party in Milan. M's attempt at looking years younger is actually working, while Jesus is looking decades older. It's always best to meet half-way, non?

Now that Mr. Luz is snazzed up, and not half naked, he actually looks like a mature, strapping adult. Maybe there's some hope for the half-power couple after all. Why should guys get to be the only one's who can have age-defying fun? Have your way with him, M!

Tom Munro

"I think it's ridiculous. Anyone who calls her a child trafficker is an idiot. M fans have been aware of Mercy for a while. Mercy's name circulated in the Madonnasphere since shortly after she and Guy adopted David, so she did everything by the book."

—So steams good bud to Queen Madge. Course, the Material Mom's adoption plans were recently halted by a Malawi court. I think we have Brangelina to blame for all of this, don't you? I mean, they already sorta blew and blasted the celeb-adoption quota, didn't they?

AP Photo/Tsvangirayi Mukwazhi

This Mother Teresa thing Madonna's got going is really getting outta hand.

Enough, already.

Who does she think she is, anyway, some kind of publicity-craving, adoption-board-finagling Angelina Jolie? Oh, please. Madonna's much better than that. And this following Brangelina after-the-fact biz, I think, too, is way beneath our beloved Queen Madge.

What does she need with more kids, anyway? She's incredibly busy, nannies are probably going to be used by the butt-load. Can't she just build schools for these kids, or something, like Oprah does? ('Course, that isn't working out too well, either, now is it?)

The point is, this matronly thing somewhat late in life seems to be some kind of female midlife crisis, I think. Just like Sean Penn hanging with girls far too young for him, M is going breeder nuts. It's all about mortality in the end, right? I mean, why not just adopt Jesus and get back to being the glittering vamp of all time and call it a day, eh? Wouldn't everybody be happier that way?

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMAPress.com; Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images

We have word that Madonna has landed in Miami sans her boy-whatever Jesus Luz. Perhaps he was traveling back in coach undetected? Or did the youngster who has been attached at the queen's hip for sometime decide not to make the trek down south?

Or was he just not invited?

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Ron Asadorian/Splash

It's shocking how being a cougar so doesn't flatter Madonna. M and her best PR pal, Gwyneth Paltrow, hit the Valentino Premiere Party at the Oak Room at the Plaza in NYC recently, and we're simply stunned to say this is the best Gwynie has ever looked.

Despite her tipsy eyes, that Goop diet, or whatever, is working wonders on her fit bod. And whoever styled her hair deserves a raise ASAP.

But shouldn't it be the other way around with these two blondies? Madge is the one banging a twentysomething dude, yet she looks so ancient here. What, now that she has Jesus wrapped around her muscled finger she doesn't have to try anymore?

Careful, M, when you start to let yourself go, your man does too. Except, we bet J would be terrified to leave until Madonna tells him to beat it. Either way, G.P. is looking much more doable here, whatever sneaky things she's doing on her end is working, so stick to it, babe.

Did Queen Madge get physical at a Hollywood party after getting bushwhacked? Is Leonardo DiCaprio itching to be back on the single market? And why is the Octomom pissing me off? Something fishy is brewing in this week's Truth, Lies, & Ted and it's not just Rachael Ray's 'tude.