Michael Rozman/Warner Bros.

This is too friggin' funny. While Robert Pattinson taped a segment for the The Ellen DeGeneres Show (airing Friday), he asked a fan to strip off her clothes. And she did!

"I was doing a preinterview for this [show], and I immediately regretted saying that," the awkwardly adorable R.Pattz says. "I sound like I'm actually just abusing my position.

"It was after a period of signing 500 signatures, and one of [the fans] just came up. You kind of get 10 seconds with each person and you never really say anything, and I kind of got bored of saying, 'Hey, how are you doing?' And [the fan] said in her 10 seconds, 'What can I do to get your attention?' I was like, 'Um, just take your clothes off.' And she stood there and frantically started taking her clothes off and got dragged out of the room by security. I never felt more terrible."

This makes us love Rob 10 times more! Perverted, huh? We would start messing with fans, too, after a while. Actually, we're shocked R.Pattz hasn't done it more. He has so much power over these helpless ones! Might as well make it entertaining.

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See where all the New Mooners have been in our World Tour Madness Gallery.

Jun Sato/Getty Images

Yesterday's Vanity Fair article got a lot of you pretty pissy. Some debate was about whether Team Awful's been wrong for the past six months (BTW, we aren't backtracking, like some of you misread), but more of you were bothered by how the glitzy interview portrayed Robert Pattinson.

Some were peeved at Rob's Kristen answer (we don't see anything unusual with what he said—if you read his exact quotes), but a shocking number of you commented how "gross" they thought R.Pattz was after reading the article.

We'll simplify it, so you don't have to scroll through all the comments. You know our vote.

Did you know vampires were the big rage right now? Yeah...neither did we. Everybody seems to be shamelessly trying to cash in on anything fang related, especially sexually.

Yesterday we introduced you to the vampire inspired sex-toy Succa-Dry, but for you Twilight lovers who are just slightly more PG you can get Robert Pattinson...down there! Talk about invasion of privacy.

Behold: R.Pattz undies. They're not for sale, alas, but they do beg the question: Would you cross the line and wear 'em?

Jim Smeal/Getty Images; Louise Barnsley, Max Butterworth, PacificCoastNews.com

It looks like Chastity Bono's transformation is just about complete.

Like we reported ages ago, C.B. was undergoing a sex-change operation, and the first pics have surfaced of Chaz looking, well, shall we say a bit manlier. We don't know if the operation's happened yet, but the recent pics look different, no?

Even though Bono's Cher_Show_.html" target="_blank">proposed reality show with Cher may not have been a success (since it never actually got picked up), it looks like all is going according to plan in his personal life. So what do you think of the new Chaz?

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See who's stepping out and not making such a big statement, in our Big Picture gallery!

The unthinkable happened this Labor Day weekend: Britney Spears actually sang live during a show! At her tour stop in North Carolina, B-babe took a break from fake-belting her own hits and sang a cover of Alanis Morissette's "You Oughtta Know."

OK the angsty tune's sorta a karaoke staple at this point, but bonus points to a more confident Brit for at least trying. We thought we'd never see the day when B.S. would actually turn her mic on while strutting her stuff onstage and let the world know what she sounds like sans studio mixers.

What's next, an acoustic album? Probably not.

Are you rocking out to Brit's natural singing voice or shaking and crying? Vote in the poll!

Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMA Press; Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images; John Shearer/Getty Images; Lester Cohen/Getty Images; Mike Marsland/Getty Images

Ah, the crisp, biting wind of early September can only mean one thing: It's time to get off your summer-lovin' ass and head on back to school! Our darling Marc Snetiker has left us for his own academically hallowed hall in the Midwest (pray for him), and let's face it—for some of you crazy, typo-prone Twi-hard commenters, it's about time you followed suit and got some schoolin', too. No offense, babes.

But what better way to celebrate the re-education of everything you forgot this summer than to round up the results of our Back to School Madness series?

It's time to reveal the results, and trust us, kids, you don't want to miss them! After all, you're the ones who elected these dazzling star students to their oh-so-prestigious positions. Regret any of your votes yet?

Trust. You might. And the winners are…

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Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images, Jeffrey Mayer/Getty Images

Some people are envied for their good looks, some for their good grades and even others for their talents (whether on the football field, the stage or in the closet during a raunchy game of Truth or Dare). But one thing that's universally envied?

It's the hair, kids!

Celebs spend hours on their perfectly crafted coifs. Combing, brushing, curling, moussing! Even if they're trying to pull off the I-don't-care-what-my-hair-looks-like shrug (lookin' at you, Seacrest), the public is still totally enraptured by their locks. So why not give praise to the dreamy sensations with the trendiest 'dos on campus?

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Jen Lowery/startraksphoto.com

When choosing this category, we could have settled for something like Cutest Couple, Couple Most Likely to Last or Most Likely to Stay Married. But seeing as this is Hollywood and we're dealing with the crème de la crème (in some cases), the best couple has to be given a better title than any of those!

That's why Homecoming King and Queen is the prestigious label being awarded to whomever the student body elects for this one. Style, grace and a general feeling of envy should accompany whichever couple is chosen!

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NBC Photo/Nicole Rivelli

When the drama of Hollywood homework gets you down, you know you can count on at least one funny face to make...well, a funny face...or do something absolutely wild and crazy in the middle of class that gets the whole room to crack up. The Class Clown.

Who in Tinseltown is worthy of that title? It has to be somebody funny, somebody witty and somebody whose name alone almost makes you laugh. Is it impression goddess Tina Fey or How I Met Your Mother stud Neil Patrick Harris? Whose sense of humor gets you crushin' on the clown, big time?

Mark your ballot for which star you think should be crowned Class King (or Queen) of Comedy!

Kevin Winter/TCA 2009/Getty Images for Fox

No roundup of high school superlatives would be complete without the coveted title of Most Likely to Be Sent to the Principal's Office. This one's all about that special guy or girl who would basically make life a living hell for the Persons of Authority.

Who takes the crown on this one?

Vote for your favorite bad boy or naughty girl to get the recognition for their best troublemaking exploits, and send them to the principal. Sometimes celebrities just need to be punished!

Flynet

Welcome to Round 2 of the Awful Truth's Back to School Celebrity Superlatives! Judging from your responses to yesterday's poll, we totally see who's leading the way for Most Changed. But what about those who tried so desperately to reinvent themselves but failed?

They deserve some recognition, too, doncha think?

Pick your fave celeb for most Unchanged this year, and maybe they'll get those much-needed personality alterations in 2010?

Fame Pictures

We've hit the end of summer, sweethearts, which means for all you young'uns out there, it's back to school time! To celebrate the return to your scholastic duties (and to pretend we're right there along with ya), the A.T.'s getting its gossipy claws out for some celebrity superlatives! Ya know, best couple, most likely to succeed and a few additional categories you prolly won't find in any yearbook.

Check out the first of 10 rounds. We picked the nominees; you pick the winners, sound good? Take out your virtual No. 2 pencils and let's get started!