Not since the days of Will Ferrell and Tina Fey has Saturday Night Live been able to deliver a full hour-and-a-half of laughs, but leave it to Hollywood's golden girl to change all of that.

Taylor Swift played host and musical guest of the season's best SNL, and the country-crossover sensation did so with grace and dignity by not mentioning all of the things we were dying to hear—well, sort of.

Swift wrote a little ditty to kick off the show called "Monologue Song (La, La, La)," in which the star serenaded the world by discussing the things she would not be...discussing.

Like little ol' Kanye-gate, perhaps? "You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye [West]," crooned Swift. "But there's nothing more to say because everything's okay...I've got security lining the stage," the songstress teased as Bill Hader and Jason Sudekis joined her side.

And Joe Jonas got it worse. "You might think I'd bring up Joe, that guy who broke up with me on the phone, but I'm not gonna mention him in my monologue," Swift continued with a grin, "Joe, I'm doing real well—tonight I'm hosting SNL!"

Swift all but confirmed her status with rumored love Taylor Lautner, singing: "And if you're wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from Twilight," then stopping to wave at the camera, mouthing "Hi Taylor," and blowing him a kiss.

Outside of the tween realm, watch Swift take on the ultimate role: rocking the Kate Gosselin wig in The View sketch.

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Hey, we've got an opening monologue for Taylor Swift.

"Hi, I'm Taylor Swift, as you know," the teen titan could start off with on tomorrow's Saturday Night Live. "And I'd like to thank Kanye West for helping you know that."

OK, so the lines aren't funny. But they are true.

The SNL gig—as host and musical guest? The honor of being the first female country performer to pull that desirable double duty since Dolly Parton more than 20 years ago? The album that's been out forever and is back climbing the charts?

Yup, somebody owes Mr. West a muffin basket.

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The Kanye West jokes have already started over at Saturday Night Live in a preview for this weekend's Taylor Swift-hosted episode.

Who saw that coming?

OK, we all did. But one thing we didn't expect was a testicle joke—not around America's favorite country sweetheart, anyway.

On Monday T.Swift tweeted: "Starting the SNL process. I kinda feel like I might have a heart attack or pass out in the pitch meeting. I'm that excited."

We have to admit, we're kinda excited, too. Not necessarily heart attack excited, but as long as there aren't too many more Kanye jokes, there's definitely a sorta-looking-forward-to-it/please-don’t-suck feeling happening.

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What would Taylor be like with burnette hair? She would be a nice addition to our Blonde or Brunette gallery. Make it happen, Swift.

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Peggy Sue Olson got married!

After a 10-month engagement, Mad Men star Elisabeth Moss and Saturday Night Live funnyman Fred Armisen tied the knot in New York yesterday—the one-year anniversary of Jon Hamm's SNL hosting stint, a date that also happened to be the very first meeting of the newlyweds.

Moss' rep confirmed to E! News that the duo swapped vows at The Foundry in Long Island City yesterday. Moss modeled a Claire Pettibone gown in a ceremony attended by family and friends.

No word on whether those friends included Don Draper himself or any SNL cohorts; considering the couple's well-guarded privacy, we may never know.

Which means we'll just have to assume Armisen promised his Scientologist bride with a pan, a comb and perhaps a cat.

In fact, we can thank a rather surprising source that their nuptials were made public...

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Apparently, you don't have to be on Tom Cruise's level to trash the careers of your former costars. Just ask Tracy Morgan, who apparently mistook his recent book deal as an invitation to smear his Saturday Night Live cohorts, save, of course, for Tina Fey (even he's not that crazy).

But Morgan went one step further while recording the audiobook version of his forthcoming memoir,  I Am the New Black, putting the brutal in brutal honesty by riffing on his relationship with some of his least favorite costars. Doesn't he know that's what Twitter's for?

"I can remember being on Saturday Night Live and feeling like I was on the bottom of the totem pole," he says in the clip obtained by Gawker. "I could remember when people like Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan would probably look down upon me. I could remember those two, especially those two, people treating me like I was the invisible guy. Now look where they at. Cheri Oteri, she can't even get arrested. Where's Chris Kattan now?"

Other than costarring alongside Morgan in cable-ready homages to '80s films, that is. Not that Morgan's professional belittling stopped there.

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Didn't we already use the phrase "lamest SNL sketch ever" last week?

Too bad.

Once again, the formerly fabulous Saturday Night Live left something to be desired, as six-time host Drew Barrymore tried her darnedest to muster up some laughs from the not-so-funny material she was given to work with.

The result? One semi-silly skit plugging a faux-new A&E series, Celebrity Ghost Stories. Real-life Barrymore beau Justin Long popped up as a shirtless, bongo playing Matthew McConaughey, and while the overall buffness factor was a little off, Long's Southern drawl was spot on. But it was SNL standout Abby Elliot who stole the show with her eerily uncanny impersonation of fellow funnylady Anna Faris.

Unfortunately, Barrymore drew the short straw and had the impossible feat of playing Sharon Osbourne—a role that Amy Poehler perfected during her days at SNL.

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Need more Drew in your day? Everything you could want is right here.

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Seriously, Saturday Night Live?

After waiting all night for musical guest Lady Gaga to pop up in some outrageous sketch and poke fun at the headline grabbing Kanye West (it should have been inevitable, right?), SNL decided to insert the pantsless performer into Deep House Dish, a recurring bit that never receives more than a chuckle from viewers—audience members included!

To spice things up, Lady G was joined onstage by none other than surprise superstar, Madonna and unfortunately, herein lies the problem.

The Gaga-Madonna pairup should have been epic and stolen the show from funnyman host Ryan Reynolds, but the duo simply paraded around the stage looking uncharacteristically hot in some bondage-esque get ups and engaged in a fake "who's the true Queen on Pop" smackdown. Spoiler alert? Neither of them won and they ended up using the old "Madonna kisses a girl" go-to.

Our fix? Madonna and Lady Gaga perform one of their musical superhits together, and somewhere in the mix Kanye get mocked. Just a little bit.

The hands down highlight of the show was Scarlett Johansson joining her hubby onstage—and not just because these two are rarely seen together. ScarJo revived her 2007 SNL viral video sensation as the Jersey girl in her dad's infomercials. And this time she's selling porcelain fountains.

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When Jenny Slate accidentally dropped the F-bomb in a sketch on last weekend's Saturday Night Live premiere, we were reminded of an old saying:

There are no friggin' accidents!

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Mr. Saturday Night? More like Thursday.

Despite his appearance in both Weekend Update special prime-time shows this month, the longest running cast member in Saturday Night Live history, the 14-season-strong Darrell Hammond, was noticeably absent from Saturday night's Megan Fox-hosted SNL premiere.

With nary a press release or NBC statement on the matter, the master of impressions was simply stricken from the opening credits and subsequently MIA from both the sketches and the all-cast-on-deck show closing.

Forget that F-bomb, this is the real scandal!

Slow as always on the confirmation uptake, a network spokeswoman said last week that Hammond would be "back in some capacity" this season, though was mum on the details of what capacity, exactly, that would be. When reached for comment today, an NBC rep made something of an about-face, issuing a "no comment" on the matter.

Not that his new role is all that impossible to figure out. Presumably, per SNL alum tradition, his capacity will be limited to topical drop-in appearances whenever Bill Clinton or any of his other perfected alter egos hits the headlines.

In the meantime, enjoy Hammond's Jimmy Carter-channeling Weekend Update appearance from Thursday.

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Miss Megan Fox's weekend nekkidness? Check out our video recap of the SNL premiere.

Seriously, she did. You missed it?

Saturday Night Live kicked off it's 35th season with host Megan Fox and while we're not enitrely sure why the oh-so-underexposed actress was chosen (actually, we're pretty sure it was just because she's hot), we're kinda glad she was.

Megan played up her sexpot persona throughout the hour-and-a-half gig, but the monologue was surprisingly candid—and oh yeah, did we mention the nude photos she brought along of herself?

Just a few weeks ago, Ms. Fox made a declaration to keep her clothes on because nudity "lives forever." But last night, Megan confessed in front of the entire SNL universe that those crazy internet shots are in fact real and that they've taught her a great deal about her own body.

See some of the pics above, including Megan as a centaur. Hey, it has to be real if it's online, right? And since we can't resist, Megan's real-life love Brian Austin Green pops up in an Andy Samberg Digital Short after the jump. Can you guess which Transformer he is?

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Saturday Night Live premieres this weekend and everyone's favorite overexposed starlet is hosting. Yay! We just haven't had enough of her lately.

From the look of the preview, SNL has a lot of "Megan Fox is hot" jokes in store for us because, you know, she's hot and sexy and, well, that's it.

Now, Megan Fox's hotness was not reason enough to get people to see Jennifer's Body, but turning on the TV on a Saturday night is much easier than going to a movie theater, so let's watch it. Who's in?!

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Sometimes we talk about celebrities that are not Megan Fox. Check out some of those in our Big Picture gallery.