The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
My friend knew Taylor Lautner back in the day when they were in the same karate circuit, and he tells me that Taylor was really cocky, arrogant, just a total d-bag. Is he still the same way? Because after seeing New Moon, I so want to be on Team Jacob, but not if he isn't the sweet guy he acts like he is. Not buying the whole Tay-Squared deal either. Lots of love!
—V.D.O. 

Dear Jocking Jacob:
Every time we've chatted with Taylor he's been a doll. But those usually are the fishy types when they're all Reese Witherspoon-y. Still, haven't heard much about Lautner's being like that. Tell your friend to cut him some slack—we were all idiots at some point back in the day. 

Dear Ted:
First off, I'm a faithful reader. Love your style. So I hate to actually put my thoughts into words and make it real but...I may be slightly converted to Team Jacob after New Moon. I mean, seriously! That kid's body should be illegal. And his personality-not as annoying in the movie as it was in the book. So naturally, I want some dirt on him. Maybe dirty him up in my eyes...like he needs to be any sexier! I know about the "showmance" with T2 and that's a lil' too PG-13 for my tastes.
—Can't Choose a Side

Dear Dirty Lautner:
Well, according to the reader above, maybe he was a little dink a few years ago. But I think he's a sweetheart! And I'm with ya—Jacob was almost too likeable in New Moon. 

Dear Ted:
Just a comment, sweetie. It's about time the music world got someone like Adam Lambert. Rock hasn't been this fun since Freddie Mercury was around. I love him to death and especially his over-the-topness (does that make sense?). All the boo-birds can take a flying you-know-what! More on Adam, please—so much more interesting than the boring tan Twilight anti-cs.
—Spanky

Dear Rockin' Out:
Totally agree, Adam is what music needs. Let's get him and Lady Gaga together.

Dear Ted:
You know I love yah, but I can't stand this whole Robsten crap anymore! Ooo two actors hook-up on set! Wowza, like that hasn't happen before ever in the history of movies! (And with hotter people then them!) Yes, I said it! Don't get me wrong Ted, I love you and all that you do, but I don't understand the whole thing around them...why should we care? Please explain.
-Xmas 

Dear Robsten Hater:
We care because Twilight is like the hottest thing in Hollywood (and the world) right now, and because of that, so is Robsten. So we report. We love the couple, because they're different. Rob and Kristen are hardly a classic tale of boy meets girl on set. They're way more interesting than that.

Dear Ted:
So now that you have told me that Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed have a "special" relationship, but they aren't as tight as they once were, where does that leave Robert Pattinson? Does he still loathe the chick or has he forgiven her for whatever? I thought it was really sweet that Rob's Brit pack friends showed up to the premieres and such. I have a tight group of longtime friends so I think that says a lot about Rob. I can understand it as there are about 5 of my dearest friends that I would love to share something like that with. Happy Turkey Day, make sure you give your doggies a special treat! Nikki and Rob, please make up!
—Erica 

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Doggie Aficionado

Hey, Margo and Charlie Casablanca reporting.

While every stupid human out there is so busy bitch-fighting over who has the better abs—Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner—nobody's really seeing why their New Moon costar Kellan Lutz beats them all! Now, not only does Kellan have rock-hard abs, biceps, thighs and just about every other attribute a healthy homo erectus could want, he's also got the best heart, paws down.

Kel-babe, as our stupidly Twi-hard dad would say, doesn't even pay attention to all that gooey AnnaLynne McCord and love crap said about him. Instead, he uses his time in the media to talk about how important it is to rescue chicks like us.

Take Lutz's appearance on Ellen, where he not only talked about how fans hit on him while he was nude...

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Rick Diamond/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Any dirt on Joe Jonas? And do you think he really did cheat on Taylor Swift? Too bad, I liked them as a couple.
—Phii 

Dear Joe Dirt:
I like Tay-squared better. And no new dirt on Jonas, other than he's in Madrid alone right now. Pity the poor Spaniard chicks there who get treated like he did Taylor. Who does Joe think he is, Doug Reinhardt? And it's just dumb that Joe's still supposed to be so clean and innocent. Give me Nick any day. And as for Swift—how come she always comes out from these Hollywood relayshes unscathed? It's very suspicious, I'm keeping my eye on that cutie.

Dear Ted:
You know, I think Brad Pitt likes his women skinny. Gwyneth Paltrow got even thinner when they were together and so did Jennifer Aniston. I bet Angie lives on celery and lettuce out of fear that if she puts on the pounds, Brad will leave her for a younger, sexier and thinner starlet.
—Hmph 

Dear Nice Catch:
You know, thinking back on it, they all did skinny up while with him. But they don't all share the same eating habits, trust.

Dear Ted:
Did you see the Taylor Lautner interview the other night with Giuliana Rancic? She asks him what he likes to do on a first date, and he mentions that maybe "going to a game, like a hockey game." Oh really? Like the one he went on with Taylor Swift? More proof Tay-Tay is really happening? What do you think?
—Vanness

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"It's difficult. And it's definitely important to stay true to yourself and stay close to those people who you were close to before. Family, your friends, and just not let that outside stuff get to you."

—Taylor Lautner, when we asked him how he balances the fans and public with his real persona. Geez, with an answer like this, you'd almost think Tay-Tay was, well, a normal 17-year-old dude or something. That is, until you see the hundreds of fans friggin' screaming his name.

It's more like thousands for R.Pattz—but we could see that shifting a bit after audiences check out New Moon...

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Brian Zak / AP Images; Courtesy: Dolce & Gabanna

During our playday at the Four Seasons Hotel in L.A. last week, we got to hang and chat with Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson and the rest of the New Moon crew. One of our favorites had to be Taylor Lautner.

First of all, let's all face this one together: It's a crime how good-looking Lautner is. Seriously—he's only 17. While we want Rob as our husband, we want Taylor as our dirty pool boy, or something. Although we won't give anything away, we have a big feeling you'll agree after you all see New Moon.

During the press conference, we asked both Rob and Taylor separately what the most ridiculous thing they've ever read about themselves has been.

Thankfully, it's nothing we've reported here at the AT:

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Dear Ted:
Love you much. So since True Blood hasn't started up again and we are all anxiously awaiting New Moon, I have been forced to get my vamp fill from The Vampire Diaries. Never really watched Lost, but I am loving Ian Somerhalder. What's the deal with him?
—R.bird 

Dear Supernatural Lover:
Mr. Somerhalder is one hot piece of ass, and as with all gorgeous types, he's got the bad-boy stories to boot, right along with the bad-boy looks. But he hasn't been a Vice'r...yet. Soon, very soon.

Dear Ted:
What the hell was wrong with Kim's face on the Atlanta Housewives reunion show?! It looked fat or puffy or swollen?
—Kc

Dear Desperately Overboard Housewife:
It's called Housewife syndrome—when these paid-for wives have nothing else to do but, shall we say, experiment with their pusses and how to stay young.

Dear Ted:
There are rumors out that Angelina Jolie is participating with the author(s) of books coming out about her. What do you think are the odds that it may be true?
—Curious

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Dear Ted:
I follow you every day online but with all this Robsten thing going on and now the two Taylors rumors, it makes me think about the move America's Sweethearts. Is it really all just a set up to promote a movie? Or is it really happening?
—adrical

Dear Cinephile:
You are the only person in the world who is thinking about that movie anymore. Lautner and Swift interested in each other? Very likely the real thing. Them dining in super papp-friendly locales together? Don't be surprised if somebody's management got them a killer reservation knowing the press they'd get (and their concerts/flicks) when spotted together.

Dear Ted:
Met that nerdorkable hottie, Joseph Gordon-Levitt the other night and he couldn't be sweeter. What's the scoop? Is he really as down-to-earth and talented as he seems or has he got a few Blind-Vice skeletons in his closet, too? Much love to you & The Awful Truth team!
—sweetdaschund

Dear Looking for Trouble:
There is none. Every time any of Team Awful's hung around JGL, he's been a peach. Not sayin' he's sinless, but he keeps it on the DL whenever we've had his eye on him. Maybe he'll crack sometime soon? Hope so!

Dear Ted:
Are Josh Peck and Drake Bell (of Drake & Josh) Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream? They seem to be all about that "brotherly love."
—Milena

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Dear Ted:
I came upon this article and I just wanted to point out that it did make valid points. I am in no way a fan or care about what Miley Cyrus does but there does seem to be a double standard when it comes to males and females. You have scolded Miley for pole dancing, but what about Taylor Lautner who poses for magazines in a wet T-shirt? Jaws drop for him whenever he takes his shirt off but can the same be said for Miley? Her scandalous photo shoot for Vanity Fair sparked a lot of controversy but here is Taylor, who is also underage, taking his clothes off for magazines. While yes Miley is a Disney Darling so what Taylor, he wasn't a darling but he was associated with the franchise. What makes it okay for Taylor to pose semi nude and not Miley? Is it because he's male? I would love to hear your opinion.
—Faye

Dear What's The Diff:
Totally valid point. Except I know a lot more about Miley's behind-the-scenes doings as I do about Taylor's. At this point, at least.

Dear Ted:
I'm probably way too old to be focusing on teenager crap, but here goes: I know that everyone thinks Taylor Swift is so sweet, but I thought she was supposed to be good friends with Selena Gomez? Good friends don't date each other's ex-boyfriends/ex-"close friends"/whatever. Or is it Selena who's not as sweet as she appears?
—janedoeny

Dear Good Question:
You're right—that's girl rule No. 1. Could one of those three relationships be faux, then?

Dear Ted:
Just saw the pics of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart leaving VBC. What is wrong with them? Taylor Lautner walks around like a normal person, whereas R & K draw more attention to themselves by hunching around looking like they're wearing bad disguises. Can't Summit teach them how to handle themselves a little better? Don't they know how stupid they look?
—MRF

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Joe Corrigan/Getty Images

Halloween's in seconds, babes, and looks like every celeb, from A-list to whatever the ef Octomom counts as, is getting in on the Halloween fun.

Nadya Suleman took a photo op dressed as a pregnant nun, har har! Gal's got a killer sense of humor, no? Why else would she dress up her darling brood of babies as devils and flaunt them in front of the press?

Team Awful woulda dressed Nadya in an invisibility cloak so we could forget she existed for one night. But maybe some other famous faces will take our perf costume suggestions picked specifically for them?

Grab a handful of naughty treats everybody and take a peek!

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Jun Sato/Getty Images

In an exclusive interview yesterday, New Moon's Justine Wachsberger—she plays Gianna—confirmed just how secretive Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are on-set.

While she said she did not think they would hit the carpet together for the premiere next month, since Robsten is uber-private, Justine did give us some fun predictions:

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Summit Entertainment

"We can't keep them in the store. People keep coming in and stealing Rob and Taylor! And it's usually middle-aged women."

—A Nordstrom employee regarding the life-size New Moon cardboard cutouts of Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, promoting a New Moon fashion line.

While we prefer the term vintage-aged women, this Nordstrom babe insists the experienced gals aren't swiping Rob and Taylor for their kids.

Hey, aren't these the same women defending R.Pattz over at Summit? Let the babes get a piece of Rob for all their hard work! Glad luscious Tay-Tay isn't left out, though. Should Taylor Swift be worried?

_________

Here are some other ideas for ladies with Twilight sticky fingers.

Andrew D. Bernstein/NHLI via Getty Images

Looks like Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift are on the fast track from being "just friends" to a little bit more. Tay-Squared stepped out together for the first time officially last night, hitting up the Los Angeles Kings game.

T & T, both dressed in black, took in the game from second-row seats and looked like they were having a fab time together, onlookers tell us.

As for their nightcap?

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