The Awful Truth

Martin Schoeller/EW

Dear Ted: 
Just saw The Proposal and never realized how hot Ryan Reynolds was. It got me wondering if he has ever been a Blind Vice? Any skeletons in his closet?
—Kathy 

Dear Good Taste:
Tons! Stick to these sticky pages for more soon! 

Dear Ted:
What do you have against Alexander Skarsgård? Do you know something we don't? Personally, I love him!
—blue22 

Dear Misread:
Absolutely nothing! Love True Blood; love sexy A.S. Just dig Stephen Moyer and Ryan Kwanten a bit more if you can believe. 

Dear Ted: 
Is Michael Jackson's mother still married to his dad? If she gets custody of his kids, will he be around them?
—D 

Dear Michael Part 2:
Married they are. Maybe that's why Diana Ross is M.J.'s No. 2, not his pops. 

Dear Ted: 
I absolutely love your column! Though I still don't understand the Robsten obsession (sorry but that mopey, pasty, I-don't-shower-every-day look turns me off from paying any attention to those kids). Anyway, keep up the awesome job. Question: Has James Franco ever been a Blind Vice? I hesitate to write which Blind Vice subject I think he might be because I don't think I ever really want to find out any of the Blind Vices—it's so much fun to keep guessing! Thanks for keeping a smile on my face at work.
—Sarah

Dear Fishing for Franco:
Keep the Rob hate to yourself—I'm just looking out for your safety. And of course James has been B.V. If you love him, better you don't know which one. It's a superyummy one! 

Dear Ted: 
I want to run something by you that has been bothering me for weeks. For some reason, I have a feeling there's something off about the whole Robsten situation. Don't get me wrong, I know for a fact there is something going on between them, whether they are dating or just banging each other. I am all for them being together even though I know they will not go public in a while (which is driving me crazy). But I feel like we are missing something in this equation. There is some important fact there that we still don't know about. I follow all the latest news about them through your posts. I need insight from a pro like yourself.
—Joeseline 

Dear Knowledge Isn't Power:
There are many things people don't know about Rob, Kristen and Robsten. But I won't go into detail. 

Dear Ted: 
I finally drop a 20-year, two-packs-a-day habit and you start up again? Oh mon dieu! If it's because of Butch's passing, I'll let it slide for now. But please, quit again. Still love ya, though.
—Megley 

Dear Smoke for Thought:
Then I hope for your sake you don't go for round two because it's even harder than quitting the first time. Not that I'm there, yet. It's just a few for now. But if it ever kicks back to what it was, I'm done all over again. 

Dear Ted: 
Don't you feel guilty for making fun of the Robsten fans? I never believed these two kids are a couple, and if I don't see strong proof, I never will. But there are many obsessed fans who believe every single thing you give them. Can you imagine their disappointment when the awful truth comes out? That Rob and Kris aren't dating? I don't know if they're hooking up, that's totally different! But the Robsten fans are imagining true love forever. At least tell them that those two are just sleeping together from time to time.
—Karalian 

Dear What's the Difference:
Watch your mouth, girlfriend. Who am I to declare what Robsten is or isn't when those two haven't even laid the official groundwork! 

Dear Ted: 
What's up with you and Nikki Reed? One day you're dissing her, the next you tell us to lighten up. What's the deal? Is she paying you?
—Ohsoniceone 

Dear Money Can't Buy Me:
Playing hot and cold is at the center of every Hollywood relationship. Just because I want her to back off from Rob (which she's done nicely) doesn't mean I don't like the gal. She's been through the works. 

Dear Ted: 
What do you think about a pairing of George Clooney and Jennifer Aniston? Seems like neither of them really want a long-term, settle-down sitch. Wouldn't they be perfect together? I know that George usually goes for the obscure waitress type, and lately Jen has been going for pond scum. But maybe they could both class it up a bit?
—Angie 

Dear Clooniston:
Oh I'd love those two together, because you're right, they're looking for the exact same thing right now. Plus, what better way to get back at Brad then go for his hotter best friend? 

Dear Ted: 
Is Dommy-Do Rightly Amanda Bynes? I've thought so since you first mentioned her. Is Toothy Owen Wilson? BTW love your columns. I read them on my cell when I can't sleep at night.
—Ad 

Dear 0 for 2:
Sorry darling, better guessin' next time! Uh, think less fake butch, for sure. 

Dear Ted: 
Has Robert Pattinson been blessed to be a Blind Vice more than once?
—Sally 

Dear Technicality:
He's starred in one and guest starred in another—so I guess you could say he has. 

Dear Ted: 
Your silence on Judas Jack Off and DDD has been deafening. Don't you want to play with us anymore? Give us avid readers of these two Romeos' tales of bearded woe something to chew on, just a nibble, please?
—Desperately-Waiting 

Dear Forbidden Love:
They've both backed off, big-time—very boring, very Toothy Tile of them—I'm sorry to say. 

Dear Ted: 
While I totally agree with you about the Chris Brown sentencing, I really have to disagree with your assessment of our president. I understand the frustration, especially to you all in California, over this continued issue. But as you keep pointing out the similarities between gay rights and Jim Crow laws, I feel the issue of history needs to be pointed out. It took blacks about a hundred years to get equal rights, more if you count the beginnings of slavery. And I'm sure you know as well as I, laws don't change the realities on the ground; racism is still alive and well under the surface. Changing public perceptions are difficult. The president is committed to bringing about change and equal rights, but I think he is having to balance the many issues.
—Cathy 

Dear Tired of Waiting:
Tough. He needs to wake up on this one. And fast. 

Dear Ted: 
All this stuff about Robsten is OK, but can you tell us more about Gillovny? You left us hanging.
—Avilacinthia 

Dear Oldie but Goodie:
Could I have some yawn sauce on that snore pie? 

Dear Ted: 
Just wanna say keep doing what you're doing! Love the column. I saw that E! is banning the mention of certain individuals from now on. Are you going to follow suit?
—Crystal 

Dean Banning Babe:
Who? 

Dear Ted: 
I'd like to request more news about Taylor Lautner.
—Billy Bob Joe 

Dear Me Too:
He's hardly as innocent as he looks. And that's why I love him! 

Dear Ted: 
I read your response to Barb stating that "Every time I post about [Taylor Lautner], no one gives him love." I run a Taylor Lautner fansite (www.taylorlautnerdaily.com), and I can guarantee you there are thousands of Taylor fans out there! We want to read about him, and we want to give him love!
—#1 Fan @ Taylor Lautner Daily 

Dear Well Played:
OK, but only because you asked so nicely. 

Dear Ted: 
I just saw Transformers, and that movie was sick! I didn't like Megan Fox before, but she is drop-dead gorgeous! I might go lesbian for her! If Robert Pattinson did hook up with her, damn, then he's definitely a smart man.
—Vivian, N.J.

Dear Hot for Fox:
That's probably the most damning evidence supporting the supposed hookup, doncha think? 

Dear Ted: 
I have seen numerous pics of Rob's filming in New York with Emilie de Ravin, but honestly, no chemistry. I would see the movie for him, but she looks so out of place. Seems they could have found a better match.
—Silver Spirit Dancer

Dear Casting Call:
I'll wait until Remember Me comes out before I decide. Who would have been better? Besides Kristen Stewart, obviously.