It takes a big man to condense such massive Soupiness into a tiny, yet savory package, and Joel McHale is just such a talent.

And speaking of talent, Dancing With the Stars proves that, as a skilled hoofer, Tom DeLay makes an excellent ex-House of Representatives Majority Leader indicted for conspiracy to violate campaign finance laws. But apparently he is a "star."

As is Oprah, who wields enough puppet-master power to humiliate grown men with the chance to see a free Mariah Carey show.

And speaking of humiliation and free shows, don't forget to tune in tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT for a full-sized Soup.