Michael C. Hall, DexterRandy Tepper/Showtime

Dexter is "ridiculous!"

This just in from Michelle in Toronto, who is only about the (oh, let's see, carry the one and we've got) gazillionth fan to email today about  Dexter.

Thankfully, she means ridiculous in a good way. And luckily for you all, we are similarly obsessed and just got what may be a big spoiler on the final two episodes from Dex's show runner Clyde Phillips. (Disclaimer: It is only a short tease, but it is spattery enough you might want to wear protective gear.)

As for what's next for Chuck and Blair on Gossip Girl, Wilson on House and Owen and Cristina on Grey's Anatomy, we've got a little scoop on that, too.

Trent in Salem, Ore.: How I Met Your Mother is on fire this season! Do you know anything more about the 100th episode yet?

Michael Yarish/Fox

Remember when Jason Segel serenaded us all in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Well, get ready for that goodness—and more!—with the HIMYM musical number. "I'm sure most of the people at home know me for my dance; I'm very alive and agile, especially for a man of my size, but I gave that life up," Jason told us when we hit the set for numbero uno hundredo (that's Spanglish for the 100th ep). "I also, coincidentally, have the voice of an angel, so everyone's excited to see these three elements come together in one performance: acting, singing, dancing." Seriously though, Alyson Hannigan tells us that she just coasted through the episode: "Neil [Patrick Harris] has to do most of the work, so it's great." And Cobie Smulders says: "They don't have us singing a lot in this episode. It's more like talk singing, sitcom singing. So not much is required of us." Still, it's gonna be legendary and toe-tappy! Scouts honor. I mean, it's NPH for cryin' out loud. (The real voice of an angel.)

Dana in Orlando: I'm actually really liking Three Rivers. Is there any hope it will survive?
Sorry but this could be a nail in the coffin: CBS has pulled Three Rivers from its schedule effective Dec. 6. Now's their chance to bring back Moonlight! (I kid. And apologize for opening any old wounds.)

Misty in Irving, Texas: I've been an avid fan of Criminal Minds for quite some time. I read your columns every Wednesday to see if I can find out any information regarding the cast or show. This past episode on Nov. 25 was pretty touching. I was wondering if you could tell me if Thomas Gibson/Hotch is leaving the show?
Don't worry. Haley's death at the hands of the Reaper (sob) leads Hotch to take a brief break from the BAU team during the next new episode airing Dec. 9—they investigate a home-invasion case without him—but he'll be back on the job, and presumably his usual taciturn self, by the time the show returns after the holiday break.

Judy in Seattle: Any scoop on Better Off Ted? It was my favorite show of last summer, and I'm asking for the season-one DVDs for Christmas!
Better Off Ted is back next week, and you guys must watch, because this show is the definition of funny and wrong! This season look for Linda to hook up with Taye Diggs when Veridian offers genetic matchmaking for its employees, my girl Merrin Dungey (the Francinator!) guest starring in five eps, progress on the Ted-Linda front by the end of the season (whoo-hoo!) and, oh yeah, a little advancement in Linda and Veronica's relationship as well. Is it just friendly or is it hot girl-on-girl action? Check back next week for all the season-two scoop from show runner Victor Fresco, and then start watching next Tuesday at 9:30 on ABC to find out!

Fox

Raelyn in Davis, Calif,: Thanks for the exclusive House preview! Can you tell us more about tonight's episode?
Sure, but let's let Mr. Wilson himself do the talking. "Josh Malina plays an old friend of mine, and he gets into some trouble, and I have some moral decisions to make throughout the show; it's a personal case for me," says Robert Sean Leonard. "Wilson's not different; he's just examined more. You see my assistant. I have my own patients, my own assistant, my own day that doesn't include House."

Joe in Minnesota: Any chance we'll get more Wilson-centric House episodes?
No way, no how, if Robert Sean Leonard has anything to do with it. "Wilson's Carlton the Doorman of [House]. I'm not the most ambitious guy," Robert tells us. "I like playing the best friend. It's good to be the lead of a show for a week, but I like my role the way it is." In the mean time, though, we're going to be seeing more of House and Wilson as roomies. "We're in Felix and Oscar mode a little while longer," RSL tells us.

Noel in Australia: When does the new show Justified (which was called Lawman) starring Timothy Olyphant premiere on FX?
Justified
premieres sometime this spring, and we're excited to have Timothy Olyphant back on TV! BTW, if you haven't seen it yet, check out this sneak peek of the pilot.

Stephanie in Juneau, Alaska: Is Warehouse 13 coming back on SyFy? I love that show and accidentally stumbled on it and fell in love with it! Please tell me it wasn't canceled and is coming back.
Fear not! Warehouse 13 was renewed for a second season and will be back next summer with all-new episodes.

Jessica in Albuquerque, N.M.: Why are all the shows like Glee and V going off the air until April? It doesn't seem to make sense! Why would they go off the air for more than five months? That's longer than we usually have to wait (even during the summer break). Is there some new season system that the studios are implementing? This doesn't seem normal (and I'm kinda freaking out here, in case you can't tell).
In most cases, it's all about the big "O." And if you don't have a dirty mind you know we're talking Olympics. That's the reason my Fox sources site as the reason for Fringe's seven-week hiatus, while Glee peeps say it was always the plan, and ABC says this of V: "We aired four episodes of V in November and ended with a cliffhanger, then return airing post Olympics. We always intended to break the show up into 'pods' to make it more of an event. The order is 13 episodes. Shooting will resume in January for airings beginning in March." Anybody know any good books to read January through March?

Toni in Holland, Mich.: I'm going to die without new Grey's Anatomy episodes until January. Why do we have to wait so long?!
TV ratings are kinda schlumpy over the holidays because lots of people are, you know, actually spending time with their families and whatnot, so networks are loathe to "waste" an original episode of a major series during this period. Sorry. In the meantime, can we possibly ply you with some Seattle Grace: On Call webisodes, which post every Thursday in lieu of new TV? (Come on! You guys love watching TV on the computer!) The fake documentary format is a leetle awkward, but it's got awesome Joe the Bartender, a scandal involving preggo Mego and her baby-daddy, Steve, and lots of dish on how Charlie (the big lunk who got Izzie fired) is in looove with Reed (Nora Zehetner). Honestly, if only because this web series isn't behind a stinking pay wall, unlike some Verizon and Amex-sponsored webisode series we could name, you guys should watch—we must encourage this kind of extra-content-producing behavior!

Randy Tepper/Showtime

Michelle in Toronto: I need Dexter scoop—the show is getting ridiculous (in a good way), and it's driving me crazy trying to figure out how it's all going to play out!
You and me both, sister! I emailed big boss Clyde Phillips today because, frankly, I couldn't contain myself, and he just so happened to drop this little bomb regarding what will go down in the final two episodes: "It'll blow your head off, it's so stunning!" To which we can only say: WHOA. Dexter is totally gonna use a stun gun! What's next? A Wiffle bat?!

Kidding. Clearly the juicy choice of wording here is "blow your head off," and we can only assume that someone's noggin is going to go kablooey before Dexter's riveting fourth season comes to an end on Dec. 13. Got guesses? Our money is on Trinity (John Lithgow) to lose that which lies north of his neck, given that he is the Big Bad of the season, and that usually doesn't bode well in Dexland. When asked if Lithgow will be back next year for season five, Phillips says: "If I could, I would tell you everything. But...I can't."

Still, we've gotten an early look at Sunday's episode, and without giving away the farm, we can tell you that episode 11 is as excellent as the rest of this awesome season. Look for major reveals about Christine and Arthur's family life, big twists for two couples (a secret is revealed and a commitment is made), and most important of all: one serial killer invades another serial killer's lair. Eek!

Giovanni Rufino / The CW

Amanda in New York City: I know you said Gossip Girl is gonna get better, and thank god for that, because the show is really awful this season, but could you give us some good Blair and Chuck spoilers? I'm missing them having a big storyline together. I'm so tired of Blair's NYU storyline. Are they gonna have more scenes together?
Nothing earth-shattering coming up on the Chuck and Blair front, sorry. As I told you here, there is going to be huge drama with Jack Bass returning and the possible return of Chuck's possibly not-dead mother. (Say it with me now: Mother Chucker!) And Chuck will have a surprising encounter at his father's graveside on the anniversary of his death. All that said, the good news I can share on Chair or Bluck or whatever clever name you call them is this: Chuck and Blair are not breaking up any time this season, according to my solid source. And they say TV love can't last!

ABC/DANNY FELD

Jackson in Utah: Kristin, please tell me there is hope for Owen and Cristina on Grey's Anatomy! I love them, and all this stuff with Kim Raver is giving me a coronary.
You are so not alone! But the good news is that I'm assured by a source that we have not seen the last of Cristina and Owen happy together. Word is there are many fans among the writers of these two, and Shonda Rhimes herself just tweeted: "I love Owen and Cristina too. A ton of Owen and Cristina stuff is coming up. In January. When we air again."

Charlie in Washington: What's happening on 90210?
After her mom's funeral on Tuesday night's episode, Silver finds comfort in the big, buff arms of Teddy. Did we say arms? We meant lips.

Jessica in Zanesville, Ohio: Glee continues to rock my world. What's coming up for the remaining episodes?
The fall finale is a week from Wednesday! (FYI, the show goes back into production on the back nine in January, but new eps don't air again until, eeek, April.) Anyway, we'll finally see our gang compete in the "Sectionals" episode on Dec. 9, and they have to face down some über-bitchy judges, including an uptight mom who thinks glee club is wasteful and silly and a local beauty-pageant has-been who likes her entertainment as shallow as humanly possible. Good luck, gleeks!

ABC/JOSHUA YENTIS

India in San Diego: I love Ugly Betty, and I now love the recent pairing of Matt and Amanda. Rumor has it that it's not going to happen, but they're just too cute together! Is there really no hope?? And Matt's leaving? I really love him and his new look most especially!
Well, then, I am most especially sad to break the news to you that Matt is leaving the show four episodes after he chooses Amanda. Phooey, right?! And look how cute they are together in the photo at right from this Friday's Bahamas episode! It's a great ep, BTW. Do not miss.

Paula in Oregon: Any dish on The Big Bang Theory?
Someone breaks into Sheldon (Jim Parsons) and Leonard's (Johnny Galecki) apartment. Uptight Sheldon is not going to cope well with this!

Marc in Cincinnati: Anything good coming up on Melrose Place?
Original Melrose fans, can I get a whoo whoo!? Badass Michael Mancini is back this week and stooping oh-so-low to prevent David from turning over the bloody evidence found in his car, and unfortunately, Lauren is on receiving end of the blow.

Alicia in Memphis, Tenn.: What's to come on Melrose Place?
Oh noes! Someone else is going to be directing the feature version of Jonah's movie. Bummer. Perhaps Jenna Dewan's bespectacled D-girl can return and save the day? We liked that broad.

Bella in Lansing, Mich.: I absolutely love White Collar on USA—that Matt Bomer does it for me every time! Is Neal going to find Kate soon?
Let's just say that Kate is more present that we ever suspected. If you're invested in the Neal-Kate storyline, don't miss this Friday's winter finale, which is also a really pleasant return to the "caper flick" form of the pilot. (P.S. TV fans, if you haven't really been paying attention to Monk but have ever seen an episode and are remotely invested in the show, don't miss this Friday's series finale. Monk is finally going to solve Trudy's murder!)

Grace in Florida: Any news on The Closer episodes airing this month? I heart that show!
Beau Bridges
appears on the Dec. 14 episode as a former partner of Provenza's who has undergone as "surprising change," and President Roslin, Mary McDonnell, is back on Dec. 21 as Brenda Lee's (Kyra Sedgwick) fabulous IAD nemesis Capt. Sharon Raydor. Look for a brief détente between the two enemies when they join forces on a domestic violence case involving an LAPD officer as the apparent victim,

Melina in Washington, D.C.: Any news on Trauma?
We won't see this episode of Trauma for a looong time (until after the Olympics in February), but the series is planning a flashback to explain why one of our heroes is all crazy and damaged and awesome. You know who we're talkin' about right?

Terebaitha83: What can you tell us about the two-hour special Private Practice?
This Thursday is a double dose of Kate Walsh and company, and when we talked to Chris Lowell this morning, we got the distinct impression that Dell's storyline is going, well: Off. The. Rails. In particular, we hear there's an explosion at Dell's house, and if we had to hazard a guess, we'd say Dell's on-again, off-again wife Heather was hosting an at-home meth lab. Holy bad life choices, Batman!

ABC/Ron Tom

Felicia in Rockland, Maine: It is not Orson who will be killed off Desperate Housewives (although that is what they want you to believe). But everyone is in for a surprise when they find out it is actually Karl not Orson who will be killed off in the plane crash episode. Think about it. More than one housewife will be affected meaning Bree and Susan. And in future episodes, Susan will inherit a strip club which Karl leaves in his will. There will also be an episode where the girls flash forward and think about the future and Bree wonders what life would be like if it was Orson who had died instead of Karl. Also Karl has been on the show since season one which that would explain that clue also. Just wanted to let you know.
Unless your name is actually "Felicity" I am chalking this up as a rumor, missy! But we do know it is not Orson (Kyle himself told us so much), and I wouldn't be surprised if Karl is the one to go. We shall see...

Kelly in Michigan: Any dish on the final episodes of Dollhouse? I'll miss that crazy show!
Producers are casting for the series finale as we speak, and we'll be meeting a new Active named Romeo (assuming the NATO phonetic alphabet nomenclature remains in play). Romeo is a good-looking bruiser with tats, a shaved head and an "intimidating" persona. Hmmm, is Romeo just playing a scary enforcer type, or will he actually be batting around our faves? The mystery will be resolved Jan. 22 when we see the last-ever ep of Dollhouse for ourselves.

Elice in Tacoma, Wash.: Any news on The Office? Will there be any Jam moments to look forward to?
There are just two more eps of The Office before the holiday break, and the one closer to Christmas (airing Dec. 10) sees everyone in the dumps because of Dunder Mifflin's possible bankruptcy. Apparently, Jim and Dwight actually join forces to try to give the branch a happy holiday after all. Awww, we predict many heart-warming/hilarious moments or, at the very least, Dwight and Jim kissing under the mistletoe, just to startle the gang out of their stupor.

The CW

Ryan in North Miami, Fla.: OK, Kristin, let's try this one more time please. I would really like to know if Smallville is being renewed for a 10th season or even if the CW is considering it. I would be forever and eternally grateful if you would at least try and find out. I would even tell my sister to name her next kid after you.
Here's hoping it's a girl! I have it on good authority the CW most definitely wants a 10th season. Smallville is kicking gluteus maximus in the ratings.

Marlene in Columbus, Ohio: Vampire Diaries! Please, something, anything. I can't stand the wait.
We just chatted up Jasmine Guy, and she tells us she's "having a ball" playing Bonnie's grandmother and will be back sooner or later. She also hinted at a bigger picture storyline arc for the series: "There's this whole inner life between the witches and the vampires where there's this pact between the two forces that they won't expose each other. So I'm excited to explore that." She also calls the show's producers "elusive" and that she learns what she's going to do when she gets on set. They're good with the secret-keeping, those Vampire peeps!

Interns Wanted: Hey TV fans, we're looking for a new intern to start immediately. If you live in the Los Angeles area, attend a college that offers school credit for internship work, love television, have strong writing skills and are able to work on Monday and Wednesdays through the new year (workdays in 2010 to be determined), please check out the official internship listing on CEGJobs.com and then email tvdiva@eonline.com with a resume and cover letter that highlights any relevant experience and skills. Thank you!

—Additional reporting by Jennifer Godwin, Megan Masters and Breanne Heldman