Uh-Oh, John Mayer's Ego May Explode
John Mayer may be the serial dater Twitter king artist you love to hate, but you also apparently love to buy.
As if his ego needed another boost, Mayer's Battle Studies has debuted atop the Billboard album chart, selling a solid 286,000 copies—none of which, we're guessing, were purchased by people named Jennifer, Minka or Jessica.
"Battle Studies is officially the number 1 album in the US!" a surprisingly humble Mayer tweeted. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! What a way to spend Thanksgiving."
And most of the days after it. For the Mayer-weary, now may be a good time to turn off your televisions, as he has only just begun the fight to saturate your screens.
Carrie Ann Inaba Trades Judges' Chair for Hospital Bed
Spending all season craning your neck over the judges' table is good for catching illegal lifts, but not so good on your already arthritic neck.
As Dancing With the Stars' prettiest judge (sorry, Bruno) practices the former and suffers from the latter, Carrie Ann Inaba will be undergoing the first of what may be several surgeries this morning in order to relieve the pressure caused by her spinal stenosis.
"I have arthritis," she told People. "The space around my spinal cord has become compressed. I have been locked. My neck was so stiff. We're hoping this procedure will relieve that.
"I'll be fine and if this surgery goes well, I may have another one in the future."
The curse spares no one, people.
And just like her show's dancers, who know from speedy recoveries, Inaba plans to be back on her feet in no time. Along with fellow cofounders Katie Holmes, Nigel Lythgoe and Adam Shankman, she plans to be in attendance at the Dizzy Feet Foundation's Celebration of Dance fundraiser this Sunday in Los Angeles.
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You don't have to be working on the dance floor to get injured. Just like you don't have to be a hot young thing to take home the Mirrorball Trophy, right Donny Osmond?
Oprah's Mom Settles Clothes Call Lawsuit
Moms can be embarrassing. Even—or maybe especially—if you're Oprah Winfrey.
Luckily, the big O's mama is once again leaving the headline-grabbing to her daughter, thanks to the recent settlement of the lawsuit filed against her for failing to make good on a $155,547 debt at a Wisconsin clothing boutique.
Valentina Inc. filed suit against Vernita Lee in July 2008 after the Oprah-birther failed to make good on her minimum monthly payments. Attorneys for Lee played the blame game in their defense, saying the store was at fault for extending her a line of credit in the first place, what with her history of less than stellar repayment practices.
Still, the suit has now been settled and will remain sealed, giving some credence to the report that it was Oprah herself who stepped in to bail out her mother. According to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, the store will receive a partial payment of what was owed.
"We're happy with what transpired," Valentina co-owner Tony Chirchirillo told the paper. "We can get on with our lives; they can get on with theirs."
A judge still needs to sign off on the secret settlement, and a hearing to do just that has been scheduled for Dec. 7.
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Did you hear? Oprah's gonna be out of a job soon. And by soon, we mean in 22 months.
Rihanna Sings Threesome, Avoids Going Naked on GMA
Rihanna almost brought a little too much to her TV concert comeback on Good Morning America.
Two day after performing solo at the American Music Awards, Rihanna made her much-anticipated way to the morning show's outdoor stage in NYC this morning to sing a whopping three tunes: "Wait Your Turn," "Russian Roulette," and fan (and remix) favorite "Umbrella."
But what about that slight lag between new besties Diane Sawyer and Robin Roberts announcing Rihanna and the singer's appearance on the stage?
Two words: wardrobe malfunction.
"I'm a little too fat right now, my dress…the zip busted in the back," the svelte-as-always Rihanna explained. "They're like, 'A minute to live,' I'm like, oh my god! They wanted to stitch it up, but I couldn't."
But it wasn't all body talk. After performing her new single, "Wait Your Turn," the superstar paid her now usual lip service to the oh-so-perfect timing of her new album, Rated R.
"It came very natural, only because it was my place of peace, being in the studio, just venting," she said of the post-Chris Brown attack process of recording the album.
"It was the one place where I didn't feel judged or criticized, I just wanted to sit and make great music. Every emotion that I was going through at the time throughout making the record went into that album and you can hear it in the songs."
The album, a surefire No. 1 if ever there was one, was released yesterday.
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Rihanna looked good at the AMAs. Check out who didn't (hint: everyone else) with our Fashion Police roundup.
Michael Lohan Runs Out of Family Members to Alienate, Starts Leaking Jon Gosselin Tapes
With friends like these, who needs tabloid reporters?
Jon Gosselin is the latest victim to fall prey to Michael Lohan's seemingly ever-present recording devices, with Lindsay's father now leaking audio from a phone call earlier this year with the reality dud dad.
We'll give him this, Lohan certainly managed to get Gosselin talking during the nearly four-minute call, spouting off on his exclusivity contract with TLC, dishing on his relationships with Hailey Glassman and Kate Major, pronouncing he will not—repeat not—be "scare tactic'd," and…one more thing…what was it?
Oh, yeah. Pedophiles.
"I mean, I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it?" he said in the tape obtained by Radar Online. "It's disgusting."
It's disgusting all right...
TLC Lets the Door Hit Jon (Not So Much Kate) on the Way Out
At this point, there's almost nothing we don't already know about Jon and Kate Gosselin.
He likes Ed Hardy, ticking every box off the midlife crisis checklist and demanding privacy from the paparazzi, unless of course they want to patronize his lemonade stand or capture him bringing flowers to his ex-wife. His dislikes include spell-check and Nancy Grace.
She, on the other hand, enjoys employing ghost writers to pen cookbooks on organic food, berating her personality-challenged husband and recouping hundreds of thousands of dollars that were rightfully hers to begin with. She's not such a fan of anything less than industrial-strength pomade.
This much we know.
But TLC is reminding us of a few other Gosselin truths that have gotten lost along the way in the torn-apart family's reality swan song, as Jon & Kate Plus 8 comes to its confessional- and montage-filled series end tonight.
Like, no matter how heinous you think their parents are—and at this point it is just a matter of degrees—those Gosselin Plus 8 are downright adorable (and, lest we forget, the reason viewers flocked in the first place).
Jackson's Cash-Strapped Doctor Returns to Work
The doctor is in. Heaven help the patients.
The increasingly cash-strapped Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's infamous MD and the doctor at the center of authorities' still-pending investigation into the pop icon's death, returned to work Friday.
"Because of a deteriorating financial condition and prompting by many of his beloved patients, on Nov. 20, 2009, Dr. Conrad Murray resumed his cardiology practice in Houston, Texas," Murray's attorney, Ed Chernoff, said.
And he's wasting no time in expanding his services to the full scope of his former clientele.
"Dr. Murray plans to attend to patients in both Las Vegas and Houston. His decision to first return to practice in Houston was made because of the greater need these low-income patients have for his services and the prohibitive cost of reopening his clinic in Las Vegas."
And if you think people may be hesitant to get treated by the doctor who may or, slightly less likely, may not have had anything to do with Jackson's death, well, think again.
Good News for Miley: She's Officially Not a Racist
When Miley Cyrus' infamous slant-eyed photo leaked online, we knew there was going to be trouble. When a Los Angeles woman filed a class-action suit against the Disney star on behalf of her Asian brothers and sisters, we knew it was going to be a lengthy battle. But when it turned out she was seeking roughly $4 billion—yes, billion—in damages from the teen, we knew what outcome was inevitable.
In a win for common sense everywhere, an L.A. judge today threw out Lucie Kim's lawsuit, saying that while the photo may have been offensive, it didn't break any state laws.
Especially not the one Kim claimed it did.
In her complaint, Kim accused Cyrus of violating a statute that prohibits businesses from discriminating against minorities, specifically in terms of offering equal access to public accommodations.
And while Miley's clearly a budding empire, she's not, strictly speaking, a business. Or, so far as we know, offering shelter.
Snipes Appeals Overly Taxing Prison Sentence
Not paying your taxes for five years? Understandable. Going to prison for three years as a result? Totally unreasonable. At least according to Wesley Snipes' crack (but not that crack) defense team.
Attorneys for the Uncle Sam-dodging Blade star have filed an appeal against the actor's would-be imprisonment, calling the sentence "unreasonable" and claiming that his tax-evasion trial—which came to a close last February after Snipes was convicted on three misdemeanor counts of failing to file a return—should have taken place in New York and not Florida.
Nevermind that the 47-year-old actor's housing records showed that he lived in both states or that his legal team had ample time prior to the years-in-the-making trial to seek the location swap.
Breaking News
Miley Cyrus' Tour Bus in Deadly Crash
One person is dead and several more suffered minor injuries after Miley Cyrus' tour bus crashed and flipped onto its side in Virginia this morning.
Cyrus herself was not on board the bus at the time—she was instead recovering from channeling Pretty Woman-era Julia Roberts. But, according to media reports, the vehicle involved was the Disney star's usual mode of transportation between shows.
The driver of the bus, whose identity has not been released, is the sole known casualty.
The crash took place around 8:15 a.m. in the town of Dinwiddie, roughly 40 miles south of Richmond. While the cause of the fatal accident is not yet known, Virginia State Police confirm that the roads were wet at the time.
The bus was likely en route to Greensboro, N.C., where Cyrus' next concert is scheduled to take place Sunday night.
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This news is tragic. Cheer yourself up by looking at some pretty, pretty vampires.
Brad Pitt's New Fight Club: Battling Aliens
On the eve of New Moon's opening, it's only natural O.G. cinema vamp Brad Pitt would want a share of the spotlight.
And what Pitt wants, Pitt gets, this time courtesy of the news that he's set to develop—and most likely take the lead role in—a big screen adaptation of Dark Void, a forthcoming shoot-'em-up video game.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Pitt would ostensibly star as Will, a cargo pilot who finds himself in a parallel universe after crashing in the Bermuda Triangle. He and his outnumbered crew, along with their mysterious, unnamed "powers," end up fighting aliens that the previously presumed to be extinct.
The film-inspiring game is released in January.
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Check out who else is making the big screen rounds in our Casting Couch gallery.
Foodie Fight! Martha Slams Rachael, Says Dueling Domestic Diva Is "Not Good Enough"
If you can't take the heat, get out of Martha Stewart's kitchen. That means you, Rachael Ray.
While it was just a week ago that the dueling domestic divas made nice by making their first joint appearances on their respective daytime chatfests, apparently a few days are all Stewart needed to make up her mind about Ray's culinary prowess. Or lack thereof.
In an interview set to air tonight on Nightline, the high priestess of homemaking shuts down any would-be comparisons with her long-rumored younger rival.
"Well, to me, she professed that she could—cannot bake," the ice queen begins. "She just did a new cookbook, which is just a re-edit of a lot of her old recipes. And that's not good enough for me.
"Rachael is different," Stewart goes on. "She is more of an entertainer…with her bubbly personality, than she is teacher, like me. That's not what she's professing to be."
And lest there be any confusion, that's not a good thing. That sound you hear? That's the sound of it being on.


