ABC; ABC/Donna Svennevik

Something feels wrong in our bones.

At first we thought the vague, nagging feeling was caused by that thing that we lifted that we shouldn't have lifted. Then we realized, no, it's Oprah Winfrey. She's the problem.

She's holding out on us. Has to be. What savvy businesswoman would up and quit a money-making operation?

Unless...

Unless the savvy businesswoman stumbled onto a potentially bigger money-making operation. With a potentially bigger star than her own Oprah self.

Would we dare suggest Oprah's departure from Oprah has nothing to do with literary metaphors (closing a chapter, writing a new story, blah blah blah), and everything to do with none other than Sarah Palin? Oh, yes, we would.

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ABC/ADAM LARKEY

Should Donny meet Marie at Thanksgiving tomorrow, the Osmond brother best go easy on the Osmond sister with the Dancing With the Stars trash talk.

See, while Donny owns Marie when it comes to DWTS wins (one versus zip), Marie owns Donny—big-time—when it comes to DWTS ratings.

Last night's Donny-crowning finale fell more than 5 million viewers shy of the nearly 25 million who tuned in the fall 2007 closer, featuring Marie, preliminary Nielsen estimates showed.

But before Marie breaks into a flag-drawing touchdown dance, it should be said that against 2009 competition, Donny's show did just great, averaging a season-high 19.2 million.

Oh, and also, he won the mirror ball, and Marie didn't.

Karen Alquist/TLC

Are you glad Jon & Kate Plus 8 is over? Did you watch Jennifer Lopez fall, or Adam Lambert get a rise out of the crowd? And why do you suddenly care about Katie Couric? 

The answers—and more questions—in the latest TV ratings quiz:

1. So, was it goodbye or good riddance to Jon & Kate Plus 8? Last night's series finale was actually well-attended, attracting 4.3 million viewers, TLC said, up 2 million from last week's penultimate episode. When all was said and done and repeated in the tabloids, the show remained a ratings winner, if not the scandal-boosted phenomenon of earlier in the season.

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Matt Sayles/AP Photo

"Singularly distasteful."

The Parents Television Council on Adam Lambert's American Music Awards leash demonstration? Close. The Sept. 16, 1956, New York Times on Elvis Presley's hip-censored Ed Sullivan performance.

If our outrage over rock stars is nothing new, then neither are our rock stars. From Elvis' pelvis on down, they are nothing if not dedicated to sex, more sex, the next new single, which is probably about sex, and ticking off people who prefer their s-e-x to be not so explicit, thankyouverymuch. 

Criticizing Lambert for what he did, smooched and pawed at the AMAs is like criticizing that Paula Deen lady on the Food Network because she made something with butter: It's what they do.

And the other night, Lambert did his job very well.

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Summit Entertainment

Twi-hards, you were right: New Moon's Sunday box office was bigger than estimated. 

Twi-hards, you were wrong: New Moon wasn't big enough to dethrone The Dark Knight as Hollywood's all-time opening-weekend champ. (Or, for that matter, to displace No. 2, Spider-Man 3.)

Final numbers, released today, show the Twilight sequel finished the weekend with a spectacular $142.8 million, up from the, well, spectacular $140.7 million of first reports.

In the end, New Moon made $72.7 million on Friday, $42.3 million Saturday and $27.8 million on Sunday.

Twi-hards, take note: Next time, the Dark Knight-beating number you're looking for on Sunday (assuming the other returns stay the same) is $43.5 million. Lotsa luck, Eclipse.

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Summit Entertainment

It was big. It was bigger than expected. It was record-setting. But more on the new Sandra Bullock movie later.

New Moon will close out its remarkable debut weekend with an estimated $140.7 million, its studio reported today. The towering take makes the Twilight sequel the third-biggest opener in Hollywood history.

Or, to put it another way: Yes, The Dark Knight's opening-weekend mark is safe. And, yes, Spider-Man 3's second-place slot is secure. But, still, other records did fall to New Moon.

Stay tuned for more factoids, and a look at Bullock's The Blind Side, which showed bite of its own with a $34.5 million bow.        

Summit Entertainment

It was big. It was bigger than expected. It was record-setting. But more on the new Sandra Bullock movie later.

New Moon will close out its remarkable debut weekend with an estimated $140.7 million, its studio reported today. The towering take makes the Twilight sequel the third-biggest opener in Hollywood history.

Or, to put it another way: Yes, The Dark Knight's opening-weekend mark is safe. And, yes, Spider-Man 3's second-place slot is secure. But, still, other records did fall to New Moon.

Stay tuned for more factoids, and a look at Bullock's The Blind Side, which showed bite of its own with a $34.5 million bow.        

Summit Entertainment

As a PG-rated Robin might cry, "Holy crap, Batman!"

New Moon smashed The Dark Knight's single-day and opening-day box-office records with an estimated $72.7 million Friday, its studio reported today.

If the movie's unprecedented midnight business was "absolutely freakish," then its unprecedented full-day take was simply phenomenal.

"It doubled the opening day of the first movie—and Twilight was no slouch itself," Box Office Mojo's Brandon Gray said. "It's just sensational."

With New Moon having already eclipsed its $50 million budget, two of Dark Knight's showiest records, and Twilight's entire opening-weekend gross, about the only question left is: How high can this thing go?

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Summit Entertainment

What else is there to say about New Moon that hasn't already been gushed? That the sequel to you-know-what starring you-know-who and -who and -who, grossed a record-setting, undead-enlivening, "absolutely freakish" $26.3 million in Friday midnight screenings?

Well, there's that.

Yes, New Moon usurped the midnight crown from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ($22.2 million), which ousted The Dark Knight ($18.5 million) this past July. Nudge the person in the theater next to you, and pass it on.

How do we know you're reading this on a hand-held at a multiplex? Because chances are you are.

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Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

It is time to get off Carrie Prejean's back about her chest. The woman is correct. The Bible absolutely, positively does not say, "You shouldn't get breast implants." In those exact words.

We have reached this conclusion after seeking counsel and revving up the search engine at BibleGateway.com.

We are sorry we didn't take Prejean's word from the get-go. It just sounded like a rationalization from a beauty queen turned inspirational memoirist. But a little bit of faith would've saved us time, not to mention the embarrassment of having to ask students of the Bible for their thoughts on—how should we say?—pageant helpers.

Our findings—and, yes, our defense of Ms. Prejean—are as follows: 

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Summit Entertainment

Twilight was huge. New Moon will be huger.

Um, won't it?

Sure, go ahead, and call it now. You won't be disappointed. (Unless you were seriously expecting Teams Edward and Jacob to sink Titanic.)

Projections have New Moon, rising in theaters midnight Friday—following the one-night-only theatrical return of Twilight—grossing anywhere in the Forks, Wash., neighborhood of $80 million to $100 million by the close of Sunday, and maybe $200 million-plus when all is said and done and swooned over.

On either the high or "low" end, the presumed opening-weekend take would put the sequel in elite company, and leave the franchise with nothing to fear—except perhaps its own hot, media-dominating self.

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ABC; ABC/Donna Svennevik

Sarah Palin's poll numbers are through the roof.

Monday's Oprah Winfrey Show, featuring the first stop on Palin's Going Rogue book tour, scored the daytime talk show's highest ratings in two years, reports said. 

And, yes, that means Palin outdrew the chimp-attack victim, Mackenzie Phillips' shocking daddy disclosure,  and Ellen DeGeneres' wedding video, to name three recent high-profile Oprah Winfrey gets.

Never underestimate the appeal of a pistol-packin' former vice presidential candidate with Levi Johnston problems, apparently.

Elsewhere in TV-ratings land, Heather Locklear saved Melrose Place last night. Well, sort of.

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