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Robert Pattinson who? The man of the hour this week, for better or for worse, was Adam Lambert, whose undiscriminating use of both male and female private parts while he screamed "For Your Entertainment" at the AMAs got people talking. Not to mention clucking, finger-wagging and grandstanding.

But such is what happens in a relatively slow week when most people are rushing back to the market for that one essential Thanksgiving item they forgot.

Turkeys are on aisle 1, ma'am. Your week in review is after the jump.

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Too tired to move after inhaling your Thanksgiving dinner? Just watch Beyoncé burn some calories instead.

We wouldn't exactly call it different—or even "a little different"—but the diva's Turkey Day concert special, Beyonce: I Am…Yours promises to be a whole lot of fun.

While the one-hour ABC event mainly consists of footage from Beyoncé's ongoing "I Am" Tour, in particular her show at the Wynn Las Vegas, fans will also be privy to some behind-the-scenes action, including rehearsals, the artist otherwise known as Sasha Fierce kidding around with her crew backstage, and home video of the 28-year-old hitmaker preening for the camera when she was merely destiny's child.

So it's funny that the night's second act features a fellow who was riling all the single ladies into a frenzy long before Beyoncé ever sang into a hairbrush microphone...

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ABC/KELSEY McNEAL

Wait, Kathy Ireland was on this show? What the heck is Tom DeLay doing here?!

Oh right, the Dancing With the Stars finale is when a whole season's worth of contestants come out of the woodwork and remind the viewers just how right they were in casting these folks aside long ago.

With that behind them, Donny Osmond, Kelly Osbourne and Mya gathered tonight for one last spin around the floor and awaited to hear who would be bringing the illustrious disco-ball trophy home for good.

Kelly danced the Viennese waltz more gracefully than ever; Mya brought new sharpness and confidence to her and Dmitry Chaplin's nerd-meets-seductress jive; and Donny performed his Argentine-tango ass off, somehow managing to look intense but not hammy.

But, as Len Goodman said earlier, "There can be only one."

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Nicole Richie still isn't 100 percent, but at least she's out of the sick ward.

The starlet is still on bed rest as she recovers from pneumonia, but is out of the hospital. She checked herself into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center a week ago to better combat her illness.

"I'd like to thank you all for the kind words and well wishes over the past few weeks," Richie wrote on her Celebuzz blog. She also apologized for missing out on the Nov. 11 launch for her House of Harlow 1960 fashion line at Bebe, as well as the Holt-Renfrew Calgary opening.

"Right now it's important for me to stay in bed and recover," she continued. "Reading all of your messages on Twitter and my website has really brightened my spirits and I am so grateful for the support. I look forward to seeing you all very soon and wish you a happy Thanksgiving."

At least Richie's home for the holidays.

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Nicole Richie shows off her son Sparrow right here.

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Kate Gosselin never wanted it to be this way. But since it is this way...

Having to shut down its cash cow thanks to Jon Gosselin's gripes, TLC seemed to make sure that its litigious former star ended up smelling like a bed of anything-but-roses on Monday's series finale of Jon & Kate Plus 8.

Kate took six of the kids to an organic farm, where they pet kittens and milked cows, and everything was wholesome and lovely! Meanwhile, even raising money for firefighters, Jon came off looking like the bad guy.

"I always wonder, 'Are they safe, are they protected, are they well thought-out?'" Kate, who called the premature end of the show "bittersweet," mused during one of her one-on-camera interview segments. 

"And I do worry about his intentions and his motives for such things," she said, referring to the lemonade stand Jon set up to raise money for their local volunteer fire department. "Is this a publicity stunt? What is the bottom line of it? I don't like when my kids get caught in the crossfire of that stuff."

Cut to Jon banishing Mady and Cara from the site for being "unappreciative" and then begrudging the sextuplets their fun exploring a firetruck while he stayed outside selling lemonade. Then he donned a full fireman's suit and took a few Darth-Vaderesque breaths.

Kate's concerns come to fruition, or some crafty editing?

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From Argentine tango to Viennese waltz, the final round of Dancing With the Stars had a little bit of everything.

Finalists Mya, Kelly Osbourne and Donny Osmond danced three times apiece on night one of the ABC hit's two-part finale, which will culminate tomorrow with one of these endearing celebs being crowned queen or king of the ballroom.

Though neither Donny nor Mya has ever been in the bottom two (or three) and Kelly and her can-do attitude have obviously developed quite the following, voters' loyalties may well have shifted during the course of the evening thanks to the hit-and-miss nature of the routines.

We always expect the anything-goes freestyles to be especially exciting...so perhaps that's why we're even more let down when they fail.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves. First came a Latin round. Then they did a group Mega-Mix, in which all three couples performed the same Viennese waltz, samba and jive choreography simultaneously.

We broke it all down for you:

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Timbaland says he's got nothing but love for Chris Brown, despite the fact that Brown is now an ex-contributor to the MC's latest album.

"The decision was a mutual decision since both artists were at the time working on their solo projects," a rep for Timbaland tells E! News in response to a TMZ report that Brown's vocal on "The One I Love" was dropped due to all the "drama" in his life.

"Chris is a friend to us," the rep said.

Neither version is particualrly farfetched, but that's the official word.

Another rapper on the track, D.O.E., told TMZ that the tune was originally titled "Maniac," but was changed to "The One I Love" because of Brown's involvement.

Timbaland's latest solo effort, Shock Value II, is due out Dec. 8. Brown's new album, Graffiti, drops the same day.

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Get a load of the latest videos in both Chris Brown and Rihanna's repertoires right here.

Kannie Yu LaPack/Lifetime; Lester Cohen/Getty Images; ABC/Donna Svennevik; ABC/CRAIG SJODIN; AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

Despite the fact that we all knew New Moon was coming and The Oprah Winfrey Show was going sometime soonish, the stars of both made major splashes this week every time they offered up even the weeniest tidbit of information for their adoring fans.

We, on the other hand, have offered up a tidal wave of info from the week gone by. You better dive in and start swimming...

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Whoever said "everything leaves a paper trail" was damn right.

Dr. Conrad Murray has admitted to giving Michael Jackson the surgical anesthetic propofol to help him sleep, and police say they know where he got it.

According to additional search warrant documents released Friday, investigators found receipts in Murray's Nevada office showing that the cardiologist purchased five bottles the drug from a Las Vegas pharmacy on May 12 and had it mailed to the L.A. mansion Jackson was living in when he died a month later.

All of which should come as no shock to anyone, according to Murray's attorney.

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Before everyone and his mother had a daytime talk show, there was Oprah Winfrey.

And the news that in less than two years there won't be an Oprah Winfrey Show as we know it has prompted an outpouring of well wishes and appreciations from those whose stars have shined a little brighter thanks to Oprah's warm glow.

"I am going to enjoy every episode between now and 2011," offered Food Network star turned syndicated talk-show host Rachael Ray, who waited until Oprah had discussed the matter "one-on-one" with her audience today to comment.

"Oprah opened the door for me to move into daytime television and I can't thank her enough. I look forward to seeing what she does next…there will only ever be one Oprah!"

Hell, even Dr. Phil McGraw knows who first put him on the map.

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R.Pattz wasn't there, so why did a bunch of screaming fangirls nearly cause a riot at a Long Island mall?

They were waiting for Justin Bieber, of course!

One girl ended up at the hospital and a member of Bieber's entourage was arrested after more than 1,000 young-and-rowdy fans whipped themselves into a frenzy awaiting the arrival of the the 15-year-old Canadian pop star, who ended up steering clear of the mall altogether because of the melee.

"They are not allowing me to come into the mall. if you dont leave I and my fans will be arrested as the police just told us," Bieber twittered this evening, about an hour after writing, "On my way to Roosevelt Field Mall in Long Island, NY to sign and meet fans!! im pumped. see u there."

Aw.

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With the news that Oprah Winfrey is signing off after... Wait, what? She's not pulling the plug on The Oprah Winfrey Show until 2011? Well, shoot, what are we all scrambling around for?!

Still, just thinking about Winfrey's eventual exit after what will be 25 years in syndication has put us in a nostalgic mood, and we've compiled nine of the most memorable Oprah moments, using criteria such as star wattage, emotional heaviness, cultural impact, etc.

Of course, we've probably forgotten your favorite, so be sure to remind us in the comments section. A lot of stuff has happened on Oprah's couch over the last two and a half decades.

Or, in some cases, several inches above her couch...

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